Checked their rooms
After they left after their usual EOW 5 day stay...SD9 did ok as usual with the clean-up. She’s pretty neat overall but I’ve recently had to watch she doesn’t leave any of her science project kit results standing around to ferment or taken in anything from outside that could rot. She didn’t put her dirty (favorite) PJs in her laundry basket so I put them in ours to be washed whenever I feel like it. May change the sheets on her bed this weekend since I suspect her room will stay fairly clean on her weekday visits this week. She only changed her socks one time, i.e. wore one pair for 3 days straight even after I told DP to make sure she changes her socks and only changed her underwear once. She’s not flushing the toilet or using TP. Not. My. Problem.
SD11 left her wet towel on her bedroom floor, a big issue for me since I hate moldy, smelly towels and she’s been told many times to hang them up or put them in her laundry basket which is 6 inches away from where she dropped it. She also left two semi-empty bags of chips on the floor, which both DP and I have told her not to do (no food at all in rooms as we battle a rodent issue). I had to take care of that and alerted DP to the issue. One pair of underwear used in 4 days and no socks in laundry basket. I think she wore the same socks the whole time. 4 days. It’s really disgusting. And she wants her ears pierced this summer. She cannot manage to change her underwear or socks once a day but it’s ok to pierce her ears?
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Comments
Why not have DH check their
Why not have DH check their rooms prior to the exchange? It just makes more sense to me to have the parent go in with the kid and check things. Either the evening before or the afternoon of with still time to reclean/last minute re-do's or bed changing ect.
I don't quite understand this going in after they have left and doing a snoop around. The kid is already gone. All it does is 1) leave the mess 2) Dad or you clean it up 3) leave the mess and fester about the mess d lack of their doing their chores. Seems kind of counter productive to me.
ETA: Dad can also do the laundry basket check everyday. He's as capable of seeing if socks and undies are in it as you are.
I agree, counter productive.
I agree, counter productive. Feels like tattling. Have DH do this before they go. You stay out of it. It is on him to parent his kids.
Yeah, this is just me
Yeah, this is just me venting.
I go into rooms ONLY to get laundry that's in their laundry baskets. I generally don't touch anything else except for food items which must be taken care of. Let me tell you DP is NOT the cleanest person in the world and doesn't notice this stuff at all. So I'll take care of it, but have certain "rules" for myself about what I will/won't do so I don't go crazy.
DP can't keep his part of our bedroom in order let alone check on another bedroom. It's the only major issue he has that drives me nuts and he knows it.
If their rooms get too messy and they run out of clothes or mis-place things, that's their problem. I stay out of it (this includes DP).
DP has me check the hygiene stuff and keep it in a log. He's going to address this with BM soon and wants a record. I just notice this stuff as I do the laundry (a chore I enjoy actually and don't mind doing).
Nah, I get it. There's a
Nah, I get it. There's a rodent problem, you don't want to leave half-eaten bags of chips around until Daddy has time to check the room. Checking the room (and telling DP that food was left) is fine and dandy.
The socks and stuff? Venting about it here is fine and understandable. I wouldn't tell your DP about it though, if you're going for disengagement. In one sentence you say "I told DP to make sure she changes her socks and only changed her underwear once", and in the very next sentence you say "Not. My. Problem." OWN the Not My Problem attitude and don't alert DP to anything that doesn't directly affect you and your house (like food in the rooms). That stuff is Parenting 101 and you shouldn't be doing it for him if he can't be bothered to do it himself, you'll just make yourself nuts.
Yep, you are right. This
Yep, you are right. This situation actually happened about 2 weeks ago and I've said Zilch since then. I think my little diary has been good for me.
We don't leave to take the
We don't leave to take the girls home until SO checks their room. They are fairly neat, but definitely will leave cups or empty snack bags in there if we don't police. I leave it up to SO. I'll take a peak if they are not in there, and warn him "the girls room is not OK and needs a review before we leave"
Let him be the bad guy
I would have left the moldy
I would have left the moldy towel & let her room smell like crap }:)
Oh, I never said I picked
Oh, I never said I picked anything up but half empty chip bags and whatever was IN the laundry basket.
In my opinion? this is ALL
In my opinion? this is ALL on your DH. HE is the one you should be upset with. they are kids, kids need to be reminded of things. If DH knows they are bad about changing socks/underwear, then HE should be giving gentle (or not so gentle) reminders. If they are known to leave wet towels, science projects, etc HE should be checking their rooms BEFORE they leave.
If HE is not going to parent, then YOU need to leave it alone. Trust me I had a very difficult time with this at first. SD16 was a freaking lazy ass slob... but I found that just letting it go worked much better for me. And when I DID let it go (quit saying things to DH, quit doing ANYTHING) DH took more notice and HE was the one getting pissed off NOT me!
I am a store manager and
I am a store manager and yesterday 3 children and their mother came into my store.
They looked clean. The clothes looked clean. But.... The smell, my god those people stunk.
If I had to guess I would say: 1. they do not bathe 2 they do not wipe their butt and 3. Maybe someone has gang green or some other fungal infection that is rotting their skin.
I actually gagged.
I am sorry for you that your SD has no concern about the way she smells.