I am the SM to twin 5 year old boys (E&L for description ease). I also have a 8 month old biological son. We have the twins about 75 percent of the time, soon to be 100 %. This is all with the BM having "sole custody". DH is "supposed" to have them Sunday and Monday (his weekend from work when they originally went to court) which has now turned into Friday to Tuesday morning. They have school Tuesday, Thursday and every other Friday, so really she has them a few evenings and on Wednesdays they either come back over to our house or go to their grandma's (my MIL). More on the MIL later. BM this is how it has been since I had my son is August. DH works 40 hours a week plus plays disc golf another 5 - 15 hours a week so I'm alone with the 3 boys myself most of the time.
Now BM tells us this week she is moving to another city about 2 hours away and we will have the twins full time for a few months while she gets things set up there. Im furious because 1. no one asked me!! Im the one who takes care of them 2. i had to tell DH that he was demanding the baby bonus (almost 800/month) 3. there is nothing in writing from her that says we currently have physical custody for any set period of time or even that DH is current with cs

BM is a mess and the twins are better off with us for sure. But still. Im exhausted from a teething baby and now I have twins that are a wreck because theyre mom is leaving for months and already ignores them most of the time. Im sick of being yelled at by children for not being their mom. but Im not. and i dont want to be. I want to be their SM sure.. But why does that mean BM needs to be a dead beat and take off on yet another child of hers.
~SIDE NOTE~
BM has 4 children with 3 fathers. none of which are being raised by her or with any financial support from her. The oldest, is raised by the fathers parents while the father is in prison. The second is being raised by her sister and now I am raising her twins.

So now Im left alone constantly with 3 children, in a 2 bedroom house until we move in july. These kids are acting out like crazy, wont listen to anyone. They need structure and routine and I cannot do this when the BM shows up with 20 mins notice and demands her children be ready asap.

Now when BM told DH that she was moving to another city she informed him she needed to meet with him to discuss details, she asked him out for coffee (and since she is constantly hitting on him and trying to make me believe he is having an affair he declined) then she asks him out to dinner, while I watch their children. UMMMM NO! then she whores herself up in her tightest bar outfit and goes to see him at work. He's a salesman. He doesn't need her coming in looking like shes walking the street with his 2 kids ( that she just picked up from me)

So back to the kids.....
E used to be a sweetheart who cuddled up to me. but has recently informed me "mom says you love the baby more than us" and "mom says i dont need to listen to you" the list goes on... they all start with mom says. I cringe when they mention her now. Im so over this. now this sweetheart is an angry little boy. he yells and screams and wont let the baby sleep. wont eat, is beyond rude to me and just out of control.
L took a long time to come around to me. most likely due to the fact BM has had guys in and out of their lives and they still dont really believe that Im not going anywhere 2 years later. Now hes coming around but this Bm moving thing has thrown him off too. hes looking for attention anyway he can get it (usually negative)

These kids are trying my patience on a daily basis but at the same time I feel so so bad for them. AHHHHHHHHH thank goodness someone on fb recommended this site to me. I feel soo much better after reading a lot of people on here have the same issues with SK or BM as I do!