This is my first entry so I guess I'll start out by introducing myself:

I'm a 33 yr old wife and stepmother to 3 beautiful children. SS12, SS9 and SD8. They're smart, caring and responsible. I don't have any biological children of my own. I met my husband online kind of....we worked under the same roof but for different companies and he found my profile on a dating website. He and his ex were still living under the same roof but were amicably separated and he was saving for his own apartment at the time. I was very much single.

We've been together for 5 & 1/2 yrs now and married for 3 & 1/2 yrs. I met the kids very early on in our relationship completely by accident, but it all worked out. I instantly felt connected to them. Because I loved their father so much it was easy to fall in love with them also. I moved in to the apartment pretty quickly and we've all been together ever since.

Fast forward to now....during the school year we have the kids every weekend. They go to school in the town in which their mother resides in which is about 30 minutes north of us. They all play sports and have many after school activities, and it just makes more sense for them to be in once place during the week. I work 40 hours a week Monday-Friday and my husband also works full time, but works both days during the weekends.

This is where my resentment sets in. I struggle between loving my family with my entire soul to feeling suffocated and restricted. I don't get to spend time with my friends, or get together with my mother and do things. I'm either working or taking care of kids. It feels like another full time job that I do on the weekends. We don't do much outside of the house because money is tight. We pay child support and don't get any help financially. We spend close to a $1,000/month on groceries. Because my husband feels guilt for not spending enough time with them, we also split the cost for clothes/sporting needs/school functions, etc even though we give bio-mom the child support.

Anyway...I have a constant internal struggle. There are times when the kids are snotty, smart-mouthed and fight constantly. It wears on me. That on top of feeling like a maid/babysitter/chauffer.....I'm pretty miserable to be around. In the heat of the moment I've even called them unpleasant names to my husband and told him to find someone else to "babysit" them during the weekends. Of course it's very hurtful to him and he doesn't know what to do. His job won't give him weekends off. If we don't take them during the weekends he doesn't see them at all.

Everyone I talk to says this isn't fair to me. I should put my foot down and tell him I'm not doing it anymore. When my husband gets upset he says I should have known what I was signing up for when I married him....I married them also. I completely agree. But he doesn't understand what it would feel like if the roles were reversed. I have to deal with bio-mom and a daily basis. He doesn't have to deal with any of my exes because I have no ties to them. He doesn't understand what it's like to be completely selfless to someone else's kids. I was an only child growing up. Maybe I'm just selfish. Maybe I'm just human....maybe this is all normal....maybe it isn't. All I know is I feel completely helpless in knowing how to change it. And if I continue feeling like this for too much longer I may just snap for good. I love the kids and I love my husband.....

Any guidance would be helpful. Even if it's just to be told that I'm not alone and others feel the same way.