When SS14 was 1 his mother decided she wanted more and left.

For years my husband chauferred SS to his mom, which was the only way he got to see her. Eventually she got on her feet and found a $$ husband and got married.

In the meantime hubby was single for four years, raising SS as a single father and then met me when SS was 4. A year later we were dating, around the time that SS BM got pregnant.

I had a son from a previous relationship, and we all gelled well together. At that time SS, BS and my hubby and I got on super well and everything was good. 

Just shy of a year together we got engaged, and decided to start trying for a kid sooner than later as it took DH years to get SS.

We got pregnant on the first try!

BM, scared that SS was going to think of me as mom tried to gain custody, and when that failed she applied to have child support lowered as she was on EI due to having a small kid. She was granted it and no big deal as the money was just going into an RESP that we'd set up anyway.

Fast forward and now BM and I, after years of struggle, get along. 

SS and I are another matter. I know it's likely because I do what his mom would if he lived with her, waking him up, breakfast, lunch, dinner, schoolwork etc.

DH has done less and less over the past five years, which was super frustrating, until we finally figured out the source ... he had bone marrow cancer.

It explained much of why he was never able to do stuff with us and was always tired.

That was a few months ago.

Now we are in the process of treatment and may soon get a stem cell transfer, which, doctors said, means he will be away for a few months, up to 3-4.

SS, who is currently visiting mom and so enjoying fun and not having school, said he wants to stay there if DH is going to be gone.

Honestly, it would be better all around, as SS has reached new hights of hostility. He has ADHD and they think is on the spectrum, but is consantly in fight or flight mode, with fight being his MO.

At his moms he either doesnt do it, or she doesn't register it or maybe just doesnt care I dont know but it seems like he is happier there.

DH is worried about the change, which is understandable, but also worried that with the cancer, and his being on disability, that he can't afford child care.

I believe since SS has always lived with him, and that since DH now has three kids (having adopted mine) that the courts would take that into account, along with the disability ... but not sure.

Has anyone else ever had a step move in with the non-custody parent and how did it work for child support, what do they take into account?

I figure the more we know the less there is for him to stress over.