So, husband and I got back from our trip south, last night. We did not unpack and get organized. We ate.

How was the trip? Well I learned a few things about boundaries and taking things on that arent mine...exactly the stuff I have been working on.

Day 1 - Thursday night. Husband was on the phone texting other fishing trip participants and learned that his boarding day was Saturday not Friday. I had prepped and scheduled that we would be getting up early Friday and jetting south 800 miles to board at a leisurely pace at 7 pm Friday night, then I enjoy my friday night and saturday morning/afternoon. Do pickup. We jet back up in time for my fathers bday dinner. Cutting it close but it was all doable. This would make it so I would miss my dads bday dinner and also have to take an unscheduled Monday off. We had words, and talked out differing scenarios. Didnt pack or prep, I was a bit p!ssed. Got over it.

Day 2 - Friday am. Up late and called boss, got Monday off. Called parents and put on husband to sweet talk and "explain". Everyone was ok with it. Packed everything, and cleaned house a bit. Left and went down the coastal route, and stopped in Santa Barbara to avoid traffic. We walked around, did a shot of tequila and then found a fresh shellfish place on the pier. Maine lobster, ahi sashimi, sea urchin over scallop...just all super fresh and delicious. Walked around some more. It was super warm and a bit humid. We got back on the highway and were checked in quickly and easily. The room was clean and new and bare bones, but at 90$ it was a steal. Close to the highway, but the highway noise was cancelled out by the airconditioner that worked perfectly. Went out to a local bar with music and chatted with the singer.

Day 3 - Hot (80s) and humid, a nice pleasant exploratory walk on the beach, coffee in the am. Then we made our way south to the landing where I would see him off. We drove the coastal highway, giving him what I call the 10-city tour, and along the way, lunch was my favorite baja style fish tacos that I had been drooling about for a week beforehand. No beach time, and the beaches were so immensely crowded, it was a bit intimidating. And of course the streets were packed as well. We made it with a few hours to spare, so had a nice lobster, sashimi dinner and of course some cold adult beverages. I met some of his friends who were from high school (over 30 years ago) and so nice. I took several photos for them and even shot a video of them leaving. They looked so happy, but nervous because after all the driving, and money spent there are absolutely no guarrantees of catching ANYTHING. An expensive boat ride. But the happiness was palpable.

I was too tired driving back, to do anything fun by myself and the sun had gone down anyways.

Day 3 1/2 - insomnia! No sleeping aids!

Day 4 - I had contacted a friend who lives in the city where I had lived a long time ago that was located about 30 miles from where we were staying. She isnt working a regular job and can make her own schedule while caregiving an elderly friend (for money), and going about her day. Starting Day 3 she was overly stressing about time and schedule and couldnt talk and didnt want to miss me but shes got a million things to do, etc.

I got up late because insomnia hit, and while she seemed understanding she kept pushing back the time to meet. From 11 to 12 to 1. I figured I had time for coffee and maybe a quick dip in the super warm ocean. When I had lived in San Diego, I was always in the water - surfing or snorkeling or just swimming. So, when I went to check out the beach, a woman was yellling and crying and screaming - a stingray had gotten her and apparently because the water was so warm they were especially numerous. REALLY freaked me out so I opted to NOT swim. And back and forth texts with friend (again she doesnt work a regular schedule and Im the one with super tight schedule, limited time there and limited vacation time) but wanting to be concious of her time, and all that, and see if we connected as friends, I hurried down. Taking the coast road to avoid the traffic took much longer and 1 turned into 3(?) ish. I couldnt really help it. We hung out for a few hours and it was STRESSFUL. She started criticising me for having a small amount of credit card debt. I told her "look I didnt drive 8 hours and take 2 days of vacation time to come here and be lectured, lets talk about something else!" 

This woman is super OCD in pretty much every way possible, from money, to cleaning, to finances, to e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g She used to drive me crazy back in the day and its worse now because she doesnt go out, she has no real hobbies or sports and no close friends. I took on her angst about finances. And left so quickly its not even funny, I think I took all the air with me.

So......when I picked up husband and he said something, I lost it completely. WENT OFF. Then I tried explaining it and we had an argument and he drove silently and fast. After I calmed down and he calmed down, I promised to not do that again (it was really bad!) and I dont really think I want to visit her again. I could have gone shopping for antiques, put my feet in the sand for a few hours. Pretty much anything else. I was expecting laughter and fun and it was all about her finances and planning needs and miscellany of a life I really didnt want to hear about.  It was definitely a lesson. That I keep having to learn. In steplife and all life, stop taking on someone elses Sh!t. Walk away. Tell them lets talk about something else. Change the subject.

Dinner was filet mignon and crab-stuffed mushrooms and a cocktail. 

Day 5 - Monday. breakfast and another walk on the beach. So nice! It was another hot and humid day, still sort of summer for some folks so still busy, but less so than the weekend. We got our tourist trap tshirts and shorts. Planned our driving route, which I changed so we could go to "malibu"...and have a nice dinner overlooking the azure ocean, feeling the salty breezes.

The drive home, peaceful and lovely. Plenty of time to think. Think about future trips and vacations...and boundaries...