Picture not-so-perfect, or Photo-gate
So, we got our photo done. And Im so over it. Next year will be very different, because Im not going through that again.
Heres what went down this weekend.:
Saturday was the day Feral Forger would be arriving in town. We had no idea of when and she did not communicate with Munchkin-in-the-middle about arrival time. Saturday was supposed to be picture day, because we also did not know anything about how long FF would be staying. Turns out until Monday.
Saturday was also supposed to be Toxic Troll's Big Thanksgiving Dinner With Her Children. Sidenote. She threw out two turkeys because she thawed each one out for 3 days, in the sink. That meme about putting the turkey in the sink to chill with the turkey sitting with a beer in hand she took to be solid instructions. DH went to do an errand, Munchkin and I are getting ourselves in a tizzy over when FF would arrive and then TT went into a tizzy over Munchkin not being with her, as per the agreement. Becuase "its just a picture".
SO, I canceled Saturday photo. What will be will be and if Feral Forger was not going to be in it, so be it. I was REALLY bummed because Id canceled an ongoing Saturday hike, that I REALLY needed.
Rescheduled to Sunday. 3-4. Feral Forger at 2:50 is traipsing around with her mother. Ok. Munchkin is sitting at home, waiting. Im sitting at home waiting. DH is having a yardsale. My anxiety is through the roof, and Im not normally an anxious person. Anger too, at having to accomodate FF's schedule and her blowing it off.
4:45.
Feral Forger and Munchkin are picked up by DH. I set up the shot, with lighting and chair positions, in front of the fireplace.
We chit chat while Munchkin was getting dressed, because no nice clothes at the mothers. All I wanted was black something or other. Easy. FF comments we look like the Adams Family Christmas. I take that as a compliment.
Chit chat goes through the normal channels, work, town of residence. Still no license. Skateboarding is main transport for short distance. New piercings - the ones in the top front gums.Comments about the fat dog. A few quick rude comments leveled at me. Nothing major. Nothing I couldnt handle. Id prepped DH about no house tour, just stick to the living room. I didnt want the commentary about my room being her old room, and all that nonsense. Everyone was relatively nice on the surface.
Shes still controlling and dominating of Munchkin, like always. Barks orders at her like always. Still makes the dog jump up on her, against my long-stated wishes.
Made me realize why we just dont like each other. Shes a rude b!tch.
- CLove's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
She sounds lovely (not).
She sounds lovely (not).
Information about travel gets witheld for a few reasons, all of them are rude. She either A: doesn't even care enough to tell you guys, B: is waiting for a better offer of something to do so she won't commit to any time with you until that's figured out or C: she is keeping the information from you because she's spiteful and knows it's something that you want.
Are stepfamily photos ever not a bunch of drama??
Ugh I wish my holiday photos were behind me. We have to do the next weekend and my SIL is going to find ways to insert herself in them or try to take them without me. She never accepted our marriage and always finds ways to take pictures without me but including my daughter.
Truly disgusting
How your SIL treats you. As the "incubator" rather than the wife and mother. And the enmeshment with ex. Horrible.
Yeah, Feral Forger doesnt care. She doesnt drive, so shes just going with the flow, or whatever you call it when you are dependant on another person for the majority of transport, and long distance transport. Shes about 3 hours away. Still could have let us know either way, so we can go about our day. So both Saturday AND Sunday were about waiting and wondering.
Yeah my SIL is like a second
Yeah my SIL is like a second and much worse SD. I swear in he mind I am her evil stepmother rather than her SIL.
FF is rude and inconsiderate, but if you're used to everyone catering to you then you never learn any common courtesy.
Family pictures
We have a total of 2 (yes, that's the number two) pictures of all 7 of us. That's after years of extreme work, anguish, money, grief and everything else. I just wasn't together enough back in those days to think of it. One was taken by our friend on an ill-fated camping trip. The other was at my brothers wedding when I corralled the photographer for a minute. Both are sitting right here in my living room.
I'm going thru all this so all the stepmoms out there will realize that the aggravation is worth it. I get it because I remember the struggle to assemble the 7 outfits for the wedding and get all to stand there and not act up. When you are in your 70's, you will want to see some proof of all your work and that period of your life.
I know
And DH was VERY happy to have the photos done. And see Feral Forger also. I did it for him.
We have exactly zero phots of
We have exactly zero photos of all of us together. Thankfully my DH doesn't care about that stuff.
Thankfully
I do not even have half a clue why Feral Forger agreed. I would think she could care less, and plus the aggravation of having to be somewhat nice to me.
Maybe because there is a gift
Maybe because there is a gift grab holiday on the horizon.
Money grab
Yes, the last time she was here for Christmas, she did not attend the party and dinner, showed up at our house (when she still had a key) at around 3 am, and slept and went through cards, opened presents and took any money and left the gifts behind. For me to clean up the next year later in January. She had turned 18, and graduated that year, gotten a job (but no license) moved in with her friend and did not have any contact about coming back or getting her things.
Supposedly this time "she misses everyone". And they will fawn over her as the "prodical child returned". Munchkin SD14 wont be happy with that, I can assure you. She hates that.
SO takes zero photos. This
SO takes zero photos. This guy would have no photos of his kids for the past 5 years if it wasn't for me. The first two vacations we took in 2017 (with skids) I didnt take much and I kind of regret it. I take a ton now when we are on vacation.
NOW, every year I took a nice photo of skids for SO for Christmas. I started in 2017. First year went smoothly pretty much. We have railroad tracks in the back of our house so it makes for nice photos. I edit them a bit etc. I take them on my phone.
2018.. SS17 gave me such a hard time about taking a damn photo it was unreal. I wanted to do while SO wasn't home and the only that happens (and still light out) is when I get out of work on sundays. I had to tell SO about how ridiculous SS17 was... pretty much ruining it. I look at the times I took photos and SS17 gave me 12 minutes of his life to get a photo. I take individual photos of them the one together.
Last year I just did it while SO was home to avoid any sort of drama. It's so frustrating.
I am going to do the same this year. It will be harder anyways because both boys are working.
I feel your pain. I wouldn't revolve any more of this around FF. Not worth it.
I will add too... I give a copy of these pictures to BM too. Why...dont know... especially all the drama she was been creating the past few months.. I try to be a bigger person. I also find it funny these pictures that I take are her cover story on Facebook lol.
yeah. Toxic Troll
Toxic Troll actually sent a "thank you" bottle of wine because I canceled our Saturday plans so she could do her thing with both kiddos.
I offered then quickly regretted it, to give her a card and she responded via Munchkin "she would be happy to get any pictures".
Her pictures of her kids on social media are ones that I took of them...
Toxic Troll has never in 21 years of having children EVER done a Christmas Card.
DH only does them when I want to, he doesnt do them otherwise.
I take pics of Munchkin otherwise he wouldnt have any...its so weird how men are...my brother is the photographer of his family.
Sad
Isn't it sad that TT lacks the forsight, creativity and planning to get puctures of her girls. That is so telling that she uses yours for her social media. I know you hate her for many excellent reasons, but you have to pity that mental incapacity.
I am at a loss
I am childless. And do all these "parenting things". It feels like Im "borrowing" a family, sometimes.
At first I was excited about the theme this year. It was "A COVID Christmas" with all of us in pj's, and masks. That all went out the window, I wasnt going to buy Feral Forger anything.
UGH.
Yeah. Well DH heard my displeasure as I expressed every ounce of it. AND told him "not doing this again". She doesnt want to get her license so not only are we dependant on HER schedule, we are dependant on whatever person who is driving her - THEIR schedule. Then of course Toxic Troll has HER agenda. I told him "hey, she blew it off, until she couldnt avoid your calls and texts anymore. this after agreeing to it and agreeing to the simple 1 hour time slot."
Her being here for Christmas - well, he is on his own as I will not be involved (Thankfully).
With Munchkin things are pretty simple. On our week, we do our own thing, and if she needs something, Toxic Troll drops it off.
Shes gotten better at keeping somewhat organzed. Our area is really locked down right now, so there isnt much in the way of holidya festivities. When the kids were younger, we took Munchkin to see santa fly in on a helicopter, we went to candy cane lane known for its light displays, and tree lighting ceremonys. We arent having any of that except virtually now. So Im putting my intentions into decorating the house.