My first post in the new site. Just a quick rundown: I live with my SO, and he has 2 daughters, SD19 and SD12. I have been with him for almost 4 years in July, and its been SUCH a rough road. Anyone familiar with my previous posts knows and relates. When I met SO, he was still trying to "Get the BM out of the house, because she was still coming over and hanging out", and they were still going out places together (like a couple). I was basiclly "doing my own thing", but we would go dancing together, concerts, and happy hours. At one point he took me out to a concert friday night, then the toxic BM out Saturday night (because he had promised). I could not be angry because at that point we were not together. To this day I am still upset about this. Like my title sais "Its the Little Things". 

1 1/2 years later, he and I decided to have an officially monogamoous relationship (the only way he rolls!) and just do it! Little did I know what I was in for... a few months into our relationship, I met the children. They werent ready to, and mentioned it, but since TBM had introduced them to some dude she had been dating a week, SO felt that he could and should do the same with someone he has known 1 1/2 years, and been in a serious realtionship with for 2 months. I wasnt quite ready, but it was getting complex with the 50/50 custody schedule.

He was separated-not-divorced at this time. In fact, right after meeting the children, she went ballistic on him, afer drinking, because of me being there. Some very dirty, nasty things were texted him, which he showed me. It was about him taking the house key from his daughter, who normally would let her mother in - TBM would then get in the house when dropping her off, and not leave. I didnt understand at the time. Well, come to find out that he and TBM had had sex every now and then, the time that I was getting to know him, and to be fair me too. But, to me, when you have children and a 20 plus relationship and 6 year marriage, you dont have sex with the ex unless something is still there for you. "but we never kissed, I refused to kiss her every time".

So, a year into our relationship, I find TBM texting SO inappropriate things. He sais he never responds and then deletes. He tells her at my urging that it was inappropriate and dont do that again. She responds with "at least my boyfriend isnt jealous!!" This from the woman cought cheating, and who now indulges in "multiplicities" in her current relationships. The divorce is final, I am secure in that my SO loathes the ex, and loves and wants me in his life. However recently he has been acting jealous over the person I gave up to be with him.

We had a bit of a heated discussion where I voiced my feelings, that he should be over the realtionship I had 4 years ago, because I have been expected to get over his marriage to this horrible woman who I have to deal with on a daily basis. I am expected to be ok with the fact that this woman contacts him to have this or that, for child care demands, for money demands, even as far as trying to borrow his truck. I am expected to love his daughter that looks just like her. I am expected to deal with her daughter telling me how people always tell her she gets her "pretties from her mother". I am expected to deal with her messing up our schedule when she needs childcare to go on a "date" (have dudes over). I am expected to have to modify my life in every way because of their co-parenting. I do this all the time every day. I have taken care of this womans child (yes I know its his too!) I have loved this other womans child, taken her places, bought her things. AND I am expected to "just get over it". But yet SO cant. What am I missing here?