Ideally, your DH needs to step in to protect SD13 from this situation.  He should block FF on her phone and tell FF that under no circumstances is she to pull her sister into the toxic stew of her life.  Her sister is a KID and it's unfair to burden her.  If she needs mental help.. she can contact a suicide hotline..

From all you've said here and previously about FF, I believe there is real doubt she is suicidal.  I have direct experience of suicide, as my elder brother did it when I was 13.  And I have myself been in a psychiatric ward in the past.  People who are genuinely mentally ill do not usually flail about yelling at people and making threats, they are generally too low to do this. To me this sounds like a family that is addicted to drama, like NPD BM and her daughters, my step daughters.  As you say, if she is genuinely mentally ill (which I doubt) she is in the right place, and if not, she will get the scare she deserves.  These are not jolly places to be.  

It's pretty sad that you are all so used to this drama and craziness that for you it's become the norm. It's even worse that a 13 year old is growing up thinking this is how every family is.

Oh geez, I feel for your munchkin. Definitely agree that FF should be blocked from communicating with her. Not that she's capable of rational thinking, but your DH should simply tell her that it is damaging to her little sister to be subjected to suicide threats and that he has to protect her until FF is well enough to communicate in an appropriate way.

My oldest SD uses suicide threats as manipulation too, and it's put us all through the ringer. Fortunately the younger one doesn't take it much to heart anymore. Mostly it makes her angry because of how much it disrupts everyone's lives. 

She had her phone taken away as punishment which was long past due and way deserved if you ask me. 

She threatened suicide at school to the school nurse.  My very honest opinion is thought it would get her picked up early from school and her phone back.  Instead she got a ride in the back of a patrol car to the mental institution and a stay for 3 days.

So those 5150's are just to stabilize them and that's it!!!!!!!!  They recommended anti depressants and therapy for my SD.  She took them for maybe three days when North Korea decided with her hair training school that she knew better than the doctors and had SD18 quit taking them. 

So without any long term action like therapy and medication, a 5150 isn't going to do much.

My SD18 is just a mess now (probably more so) than she was in February.  

What a selfish little b*tch. Texting her 13 year old sister, telling her she's going to kill herself, is reprehensible. What is SD13 supposed to do about it, other than worry herself sick? She has every right to "just be a kid".

Your husband needs to absolutely block FF on SD13's phone, she doesn't need this crap.

I know suicide is a sensitive topic for you, Clove. This must be hard for you.

The sad reality is, FF is likely going to do this again and again. She is her mother's daughter, and likely has either a personality disorder like BPD or bipolar disorder. She's probably going to have multiple instances of inpatient care over the years, so you're all going to have to contend with the big red handle being pulled periodically.

I think you did a good job with Munchkin. You checked in with her, you listened, and you reassured her. I had a stepparent who used to do that for me during the years of my older sister's juvenile delinquency, and it made a big difference. Being told to just focus on being a kid, and to let the adults handle the weighty problems was exactly what I needed to hear. Munchkin has been exposed to too much toxic crap for her age, so it's great that you were able to take some of that off her shoulders. 

FF texting that poo to her little sister was incredibly inappropriate. I agree that blocking her from Munchkin's phone just became necessary.

and do whatever you need to do to sort out your own thoughts.  I don't know what your "experiences with suicide" are but be careful to not get sucked into FF's unhealthiness.  My MSD attempted suicide (or at least claimed to) when she was 17 and YSD was about 14.  Her exBF at the time sent a text to YSD to "check on her sister."  She went to an inpatient hospital that night.  It was very hard on YSD and your story about Munchkin reminds me so much of what she was going through at the time.  I think the idea other posters had about blocking FF from contacting Munchkin is totally warranted, at least until FF gets on the road to mental health.  When someone is in that mindset, they aren't likely to comprehend how their words will negatively impact other people. At 13, you don't want her getting in the pattern of being manipulated out of fear that her sister will hurt herself if she doesn't listen to her suicidal ideation, depressive ramblings, or irrational venting.  That's just too much for that poor kid to cope with!  As for keeping your distance...I'd say you're on the right track.  I allowed myself to get all up into the middle of the insanity and it literally nearly killed me.  I've struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a kid but thought I was healthy and capable of emotionally distancing myself for MSD's benefit. I was triggered...badly.  Before I knew it, I was in my own intensive outpatient program and voluntarily moved out of the house for a couple months to distance myself from the undealt with craziness.  Only after she moved out did I move back in and I completely disengaged from MSD from that point on. 

So, I hope you take that walk on the beach and maybe take another with Munchkin.  She could probably use it, too! <3

Clove ((HUGS))) I am sorry to read about your little brother. My sister inlaws youngest  brother killed himself on Fathers day when he was 16.  And I lost an x boyfriend and a close classmate when they were in their very early 20's.  There are few words.

Suicide or threat  to commit suicide has touched so many peoples lives at one time or another.So,  I am glad your sd is being watched. As she should be for as long as possible then on too out patient therpies both group and individual.  This is awful and I am so sorry.  Maybe she will refuse.

Why do you need dh's approval to block munchkin from sd phone? Munchkins your bio also, right?

Sooner or later bio mom and bio dad may have to make some difficult decisions. I will just leave it there.

I totally get it...you just want to live and follow your hopes and dreams as much as possible.