I don't think you are going far enough. There is no danger in you going too far. As far as I am concerned, once she threatened to call CPS, she should never have stepped foot in your house again. Do what you need to do to get her out of there for your birthday.

Purge the Sulk.  Her crap is nothing but attempts to crush your bliss.  Keep her out of your life.  Daddy broke, it, daddy can fix it, or... daddy can forego a relationship with the Sulk.

Stand your ground and enjoy your birthday.

once she threatened you the game changed. it's your game board now. protect yourself, don't let her nasty mess up your birthday. 

I think you are completely warranted in requesting she leave tonight. She doesn't need to be there after her actions especially not alone with you. 

On her being around me. Period. I mean who knows Clove maybe you are whispering threats to her even when in a crowd! Did you get cameras? 

Just ask that she go home to her mother's place and leave it at that.  You make yourself into the villian by picking at her behaviour.  Just ignore her and tell your DH to do the cleaning.

Get her outta there CLove- yeah no chores just go back to mommy's. I agree that you are being fair to yourself and you could even go a bit further. She's almost 18....when that happens you really should consider a "not living in my house" any longer attitude. Happy B-day ! Enjoy it with the people you love !

May your birthday be powersulk free. 

Is your DH doing something nice for your birthday? 

Screw your DuH for calling you a wicked SM. What an a$$hole thing to say.

You know you're the only sane one in the scenario, CLove, and that your DuH is a poor excuse for a dad. Stand firm, keep training HIM about consequences, and keep working on your exit strategy.

You know, Clove, looking back over these last (6+) years that you’ve busted your butt for your younger SD; buying her things, taking her places, comforting her, making excuses for her drama and so much more, her current behaviour becomes increasing unacceptable. Hon, if my own, bio daughter threatened to unleash CPS on me, our relationship would grind to an immediate halt.

I also suffered a SD caught up in a loyalty bind, inspired by her awful mother, yet she drew the line at involving either CPS or the police. Unlike your situation, the girl had good reason to claim abuse since I’d smacked her across the face. All you’ve done is encourage study habits and expect one basic chore. Yikes, washing the dishes; hanging offence! And you used to call her, “Munchkin”, with real affection, even though she was often a brat. 

You’re an empath, Clove, and since I suffer the same affliction, I understand how much it hurts to have a child turn on you, despite having your love and support. The Sulker is past the age when the trials of adolescence can be used as an excuse for appalling deeds. As my sainted Nana would say, “It’s gone beyond the pale!” My dear, knowing your nature, I suspect that you’re going to weaken and contemplate doing kind things for SD once again. Don’t! Just DON’T! Involving yourself with mini TT will only bring you heartache. (((((((HUGS)))))))

It's your day and or week.  You should celebrate the way you want.  If you don't want SD in your home ( wonder why). DH should make sure she is back to BM or somewhere else.  She got what she wanted 4 th of July. Now you get what you want  a day to yourself with the people you want.  Have a great day !!!

doing. 

I call bullshit on all of the excuses. Loyalty, PAS, etc... All of that crap is nothing but an excuse for these toxic nasty spawn to be nasty.  They know exactly what they are doing.  Either on their own initiative or at the behest of a toxic PASing parent. Either way, the SPawn chooses to perpetrate their crap. PERIOD DOT.

For that, SParents should purge the toxic spawn's presence from our lives and even the lives of our mate. After all, at some level, the toxic spawn is a product of our mate's parenting.

If a mate refuses to recognize that and refuses to purge the toxic spawn, they have no business being our mate.

IMHO of course.

Happy bday

You cant request chores or services from her, the relationship is over and all this will create is added drama and tension and they will gang up on you.

What you can do is tell her to get the f out of your house pronto and let the chips fall where they may with your husbands reaction. 

Put yourself first and give yourself the gift of independence and freedom from nasty abusive stepchildren for your bday!

Nope. Why should she stay in the house alone with you? If she and her dad were spending time together that would be different. I'm guessing following the CO went out the window a long time ago. She doesn't get to randomly decide to stay with just you and be shitty. 

IMHO.

Cleaning up after one's self is a given.

Chores are the duty that a kid owes to the family and the family home.

They are not a punishment, nor are they compensated for. Doing dishes, vacuuming, etc... Are chores and the kid's duty.  Cleaning their room, doing their own laundry, etc... are personal care.

Extras can be paid for.  In my case, It was digging a cellar under our house. That meant deepening the crawl space under the house by 3 feet. I was paid $10/Cubic Yard of dirt. I learned in a hurry that a cubic yeard of dirt is a ton of work to dig.  Vacuuming, doing dishes, cleaning and oiling the wooden furniture, etc... were chores.  Keeping my room clean, doing my laundry, etc....  was taking care of myself.  

So many kids are catered to that most of them can't even take care of themselves with the absolute basics.  When they consider a basic request abuse... good riddance if they stay gone.

All IMHO of course.

Welcome to Step-parenting H3LL! 

• Where you're house is expected to be a 24/7 on-demand respite care for the ex-wife (skids dropped off anytime without your knowledge or consent and you never know when they're leaving - especially during summers)
• When skids touchdown the maladjusted disneyland dad has no rules, no boundaries, no responsibilities for those skids and if you dare try to teach them some respect/home training you're the evil c*unt torturing them like cartel-level opps 
• You're ALWAYS the villan no matter what you do
• Maladjusted Disney Land dad will back those kids 100% of the time against 'evil' 'mean' step-mother
• maladjusted disneyland dads cannot say not their kids whims and EXPECT you to cover for them/help them meet their childcare demands (while theyre off golfing or whatever) and usually wont compensate you in any way for helping so you're better off saying NO every time.

If some skids threatend to call CPS (when I haven't done anything CPS-worthy) they would NEVER be allowed in my home and I'd either demand their mother not send them to my house/ship them off to the farthest juvenile detention facility. 

Those skids can powersulk all they want.....they get straight up IGNORED by me during their negative attention-seeking moments

Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your day! Don't let the generational system abusers ruin it! Go do you!! 

Has asking Buttmunch to do chores EVER worked out for you, even ONCE?