Step-daughter who thinks shes queen bee
I have a step daughter who thinks the world should revolve around her. If I tell her no she will go behind my back and ask her dad. We have been married for 6 years and she has gotten worse. I am almost to my breaking point. My daughter and her were sharing a room and my daughter has almost turned to hating her she wont even sleep in there or go in there. Her clothes are in my room and my husband works third so she sleeps with me just so she doesnt have to be around her. My step daughter is 15 and mine is almost 18. The other 3 kids including her own brother dont wanna be around her most of the time. She is getting very disrespectful and thinks everything should be about her. I love my husband and I keep telling myself hopefully she will move out when she graduates and that i wont have to put up with her. I cannot stand the thought of her, i can be in the best mood and look at her and it goes away. There is always something wrong with her and she always tries to be the center of attention. I really cannot stand her and wish she had been never born on most days or at least born to a different family. She lives with us 27/7 and I never get a break from her only at work. If it wasnt for her me and my husband would have the perfect life. I just wish she wasnt so self centered and that she wasnt so loud and obnoxious I just wanna cry because I love my husband so much I love her too but I cannot stand being around her AT ALL!!! And it makes me feel like a horrible person.
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Comments
What is your husband doing to
What is your husband doing to mold his daughter into a decent, likeable human being? Does he see the problem?
Everytime I mention it he
Everytime I mention it he throws up well your two kids or your daughter. My two kids are quiet and very respe
Why is everyone just rolling
Why is everyone just rolling over for this teen b!tch? Why isn't your H parenting his brat?? Where are the consequences for bratty behavior??
It sounds like your H has a sweet deal. Depending on when he sleeps, he likely spends very little time with the kids, leaving you to cope but without the authority to parent his brat. She's being left, unchecked and unchallenged, to grow into a vicious little narcissist and destroy the peace of your home.
You need to admit that the current arrangement is not working for anyone in the home (including the skid), and that it HAS to change. Inform your H of that fact, and get into marriage counseling ASAP. Find a pro who can help the two of you get on the same parenting page and get your H to fully engage as a parent.
You do NOT have to passively accept this. Require more of your H, and lay down the law with this feral skid. Sure, there will be pushback, but as long as you and your H work together, you can get this bratty girl under control.
In our area we dont really
In our area we dont really have options for couple therapy, he is what you say the type that it's his way or no way and doesnt see any one else point of view. But he can also be caring and what not. And he tells me to discipline her and stuff but when he let's her go behind my back and ask him and he agrees that is wrong. He should be saying, have you asked christie? I mean
I honestly love kids, and she
Sounds like something or
Sounds like something or someone needs to knock queen bee off her throne. She needs to catch a case of humility real quick. Unfortunately, if DH isn't willing to set boundaries and discipline her, if he's too weak, then this falls on you. I'd make real clear to her that the only Queen in the home is you.
I've literally taken everything away from my SD, makeup, clothes, etc. She can live with the bare essentials and eventually some humility will peak through. Whatever it takes for her to become a like able person.
In my experience, kids like these are crying out for boundaries and consistency. DH is failing to provide unity and consistency to his daughter and until he's willing to step up and discipline his child, things will only continue to get worse for you.
That is what I am afraid of
That is what I am afraid of and no matter how hard I try nothing seems to work. I hate feeling this way I just wish her mom would be a mom and then she would want to live with her, that would be the best thing to happen ever. But I dont want her there of she isnt going to be treated right.
That's where I was with my SD
That's where I was with my SD, who's now 17. Her mom is a pos who abandoned her at 2 months old to go do her drugs and bounce couch to couch sleeping with men for another hit of drugs. 16 years later, SD went to school and lied to the counselor by saying that DH tried to choke her (she was trying to get away from being grounded and my implemented rules) so I quickly sent her to BM. It was the first time she's ever lived with BM in her entire life. She lasted 1 month before she was begging to come back. When we drove up to get her, she came back a completely different kid. Humble and grateful for us, she was legitimately enjoyable to be around. It was a matter of months before everything went back to being the same. Why? My DH lacked big time on consistentcy and dicsipline. Now she's moved out at 17 and pregnant. It'll be a cold day in hell before she ever moves back in with me, though.
You have to set boundaries and rules now, or things are guaranteed to get worse for her and you. If all else fails, let her move back in with BM to see just how good she has it.
Her dad would never have that
Her dad would never have that and her mom wouldnt keep her for that amount of time. I am about to wash my hands of her and not do anything else for her. Her attitude is like we owe her something. She is just a spoiled brat who needs to be taken to the wood shed
Wood shed, North Korea on a
Wood shed, North Korea on a teen missions trip, just throwing out ideas here...
I think this situation calls for all your kids to gang up on her
And put her in her place!!
so she chucks a hissy fit helping with chores like its beneath her and tells you off she never had to do it before. Your kids respond “well chores are a fact of life so suck it up!!” Then they can hand her the broom or vacuum cleaner and tell her she has 5 mins to sweep and vacuum the house while they attend to other chores in the home
daddy comes home and she cries “oh but daddy they picked on me and made me clean oh the trauma!!!” Everyone responds with well “i was mopping floors, i was gardening, i helped do the laundry etc so its unfair for her to sit on her arse and rudely say she never had to do this before because we aren’t her maid!!”
sometimes the shame factor works miracles.. Rags here can offer some hardcore tips. When my ss was 20.5 and claimed he suffered imaginary stress syndrome when hubby told him to do chores, i called him “princess Followed by his name with imaginary stress syndrome”, when i put it in that context hubby was so embarrassed about his pathetic selfish self centred son and realised how disrespectful he was treating us and treating daddy as a dumb fool...
there have been several times since then where hubby told off gis kid how selfish he is and only thinks about himself and not how the majority feel. Hubby knows that ss ongoing behaviour (he will be 22 in 3 months) and hubbys lack of forcefully addressing his issues and nipping it in the butt have caused serious issues in our marriage, relationship and family life.
i told hubby i would never go on a holiday with ss or be made to love in a home with him again since hubby can’t make him be decent and pleasant in a home hubby expects me to live in. Ss has no vision on launching. He actually expects to live in daddys home till he marries and supposedly bring a wife and kids into our family/marital home... then play the guilt card when daddy tells him you should move out because we all deserve our privacy. In actual fact ss hopes i’ll be his bitch maid, he did tell his uncle it was my job to serve him after all. Army bil put that little shit rightfully back in his place...
Start with DH
Get him on the same page as you. If he wants you to parent he THEN has to let SKID know that he has passed authority to YOU. My Dh has had to do that a few times. It still is like pulling teeth but at least it happens.
However, her personality is pretty set by now. 18 and graduate high school, and then you can set things right with your household. SD21 hasnt lived with us since 18 and graduate. I wont live with her again. Shes a b!tch to everyone, lies, steals and treats everyone badly.