Getting married, to avoid being deported???
I guess this my Ex's latest plan. His current GF, that he has been seeing for about a year, is here in this country illegally. Her brother was in an accident that has left him unable to care for himself....he is a vegetative state. The accident I was told is why she is still in this country. She helps to care for him. My kids have been telling me now that their dad might marry her to keep her here, as they worry some times about her being deported. My Ex has mentioned it before not to long ago, but I did not know he was saying that to the kids, or if that is the reason. I know he really likes her alot, and so do my kids. I don't know her, but from what I do know, she sounds great. She has no kids, never married, and is kind of.....let me put it this way, "green" on alot of things. My daughter says she is funny cause she does not understand alot of things, she was brought up so differently, but she is super nice to their dad. I hope, or rather wish that he would marry her for love, not just to use her. (he is good at that). I know it's none of my buisness really.....it's his life and everything, but it bothers me a bit that he says to the kids he would marry her to keep her here in the country. I don't think that they need to know that. Anyways, I have not said anything negative to him about it. I want him to be happy. I do wonder though, if it's possible to still do this to avoid being deported, and hopefully does not get them into trouble. ??
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I hope the kids
don't marry for stupid reasons when they grow up thinking it's okay! Okay, maybe not stupid, but not the best reason either. But then again if he does love her, and thinks they would marry in time anyways, what's the difference. He wouldn't want her to leave before they have that chance.
I wouldn't be telling the kids this though. That's not right of him.
thats my guess...
that maybe he feels that he found "the one", and does not want to miss the chance. He (again) controls the relationship too, and I know that works for him, so I think their are many reasons why he's thinking about it. By the tone of his voice, I feel that he thinks that it "sounds cool to say", you know,. a little weird. As far as my kids go,I do stress that getting married is a serious decision, and should be a life commitment....and if they don't agree, then I will lock them in their rooms till their 40! Ha-Ha (joke).
I think my DH and I set a good example for them to refer to. I have told them some of the lessons I have learned, and that leaves an impression as well. Or so I hope.."~waiting on the world to change~"
I bet
that's exactaly what he thinks. He's found the one and doesn't want to let her slip through his fingers. I said earlier that I hope the kids don't think this is the way marriage should be, but I only say that because of him telling them! I don't understand why he would tell them that, but oh well. You're right. Your example of a family and marriage will shine through no matter what. So I guess for now just be glad your x found someone that you can get along with, and more important the kids can get along with. That's a wonderful thing.
true!
I always hoped that he would! After being on this site, and talking to some very wonderful women, I knew that if he looked in the right places for a change, he could meet someone who would add to his life, and maybe some day, my kids life too. :)"~waiting on the world to change~"
Poor kids
why do people always want to put adult issues on kids? I dont think I'll ever understand that. He did make a dumb move though. If he did indeed tell the children that, it will come out in the investigation that immigration will do in order to determine if the marriage is a sham or for real....what a dummy.