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Sooo,,,maybe I am crazy?

CatG's picture

Submitted by CatG on Mon, 05/31/2010 - 8:01pm

The topic came up this weekend about being a step parent. First a little background: I have 3 step children 18, 12, and 9. I have been married 7 years. I had a bad relationship with my SM so I think I have always over compensated with the SKs. My husband and I have been fortunate to have 2 homes and at each, I made sure the children had their own rooms for whenever they visited. I never wanted them to feel like they were just visiting, I wanted our home to be their second home. I have to deal with 3 BM. Until recently this really had not been too much of a problem. The relationship I have with each of them is unique to how they are as a person. You act and ass, I can be an ass too. Here is my issue: When do I get to feel like a part of the family. Even after 7 years there are moments when I feel like I am intruding. They love their father and he loves them dearly. And I think they are all amazing and I love them too. But how do I get past feeling like the outsider in my own house. I am really worried because SD9 is moving in with us this summer and I want to (need to) stop feeling like the odd one out. HELP!! What do you do to make the family seem whole/

Comments

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Mon, 05/31/2010 - 8:10pm

Is there anything they do that makes you feel that way? Or is it just how you "feel". I can sympathize with how you feel. I have been with my BF for 5 years and still feel uncomfortable around the kids.

CatG's picture

Submitted by CatG on Tue, 06/01/2010 - 3:25pm

I think I feel it more when they are in the house and they are around their dad. They talk to him more and I feel like I have to add myself to the conversation. The biggest thing with SD9 is that she want to constantly be under him (well, it is her dad) and I seem to only be needed when they need something done. I think that sometime they think of me as an after thought. Especially around the holidays or mother's day...even my birthday. Maybe I am just over sensitive?

CatG's picture

Submitted by CatG on Tue, 06/01/2010 - 3:27pm

I can relate to this. Hubby and all the kids are so close. I don't have any kids of my own and I have tried to be involved in all that they do so they know that I care, but it seems that I am just in the way. Maybe Hubby and I need some time to regroup.

CatG's picture

Submitted by CatG on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 9:40am

I really think that we need to make more time for each other. With work and now children in the house, we have lost that time that we had. I think it leads to arguments that are just unnecessary. I think that I am just physically tired and need time to regroup.