Every year around this time everyone starts posting about all their dilemmas regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas Cards, Christmas gifts the whole freaking happy season.

I say we here at ST take a stand this year - I WANT EVERYONE TO ACT LIKE THEY ARE THE FIRST WIVES, THE FIRST FAMILY, THE PSYCHO BM'S. Why is it okay for these women to come in and destroy our happiness and take away our peace. Why is it okay for them to be the psycho's and not us. It breaks my heart every time I see a blog about christmas cards, having a baby, vacations - take back your right as the wife (I won't go into SD's because lucky for me I don't have to deal with that nasty animal so I have no advice for you).

I am also lucky in the fact that my DH pretty much lets me run the show and we are in our 8th and last year of the craziness. He pretty much except for a few times has been right beside me every step of the way and my SS moved in with his BM full time 4 years ago so mostly it has been the lovely BM that I have had to deal with.

Here is something to think about:

Do you want to have a christmas card with photos and your skids don't want to participate - FINE - leave them out of it - if someone gets upset in the family then next year they don't get a card - plain and simple if DH gets pissed tell him that next year he can do all of the Christmas planning, decorating, cooking, buying of presents, baking cookies, writing the freaking letters to santa, getting the advent calendar ready (you get my point start throwing all that shit at him and believe me he will shut up) Also tell him if his freaking kids want to be part of the card to have their butts at your place to get the picture taken if they can't or don't want to make it TOO BAD!!

Do you and hubby fight about the amount of money spent on the gift this is very easy as well - if your DH tries to go overboard to make the poor little divorcey kids feel better then you go on to the internet with his credit card and get your kids gifts for the same price }:) }:) - when he gets mad quietly tell him that if they are your bio kids only that they too are kids of divorce and if they are the both of your kids then by God they will be treated the same just because we are the second family does not make us second class citizens!!

If every year you have to go to a family members house who insists on making you feel like shit because they like the first wife tell your hubby that this holiday you will be hosting your own dinner with friends who are much nicer than his family and he is more than welcome to go to the family members house alone - believe me that will happen once and he will realize how much he misses you and if he does not miss you at least you had a great meal with friends or if it was just your children then you felt no stress that day and Merry Christmas to you!!!

I think we all need to give ourselves the best Christmas gift we can this year - a holiday without stress so get that photo card made, tell your partner that no we won't be spending a zillion dollars on poor divorcey Johnny and no we won't be sitting down with our selfish, pain in the ass, BM loving mother-in-law for any meal unless we are shown the damn respect that we deserve as women whose only crime is loving a man who has children.

PS - If even one person puts on here that we knew what we were getting into by marrying this man I promise you I will delete you faster than your head can spin -

HERE'S TO THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY SEASON FOR ALL OF US WONDERFUL (STEP)PARENTS111