another big slap in the face
SD13 (the one I'm close to) was just admitted to the ER with a very serious injury. Life threatening. My SO of course took off to the hospital six hours away and where am I? Yep that's right as usual left at home. That boy and i bonded last summer. The only skid that stayed with me when SO was still taking them to his mothers. I love him like he is my own but yet I have to stay home because It's a family matter. I often wonder why I stay. I will get no sleep tonite with worry for my Ss. I ask for some prayers for him. Thanks my friends. My only outlet to show my hurt.
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Please GOD please your family
Please GOD please your family as you face a trying time in your life. May GOD keep him safe.
I find it difficult to understand why you CAN'T go be there. In my opinion the more support he has right now the better off he will be.
He never asked me to go. Just
He never asked me to go. Just got up and said he was leaving.
Did you ask to go along? I'm
Did you ask to go along?
I'm sorry. This is sad.
I said I would like to go and
I said I would like to go and he said I know you would. That was the end of it. I didn't hear back from him till this morning. It is six hours away. So he was traveling. I know how this shit works. When he goes there he NEVER contacts me. So I know it won't be any different. As usual my feelings are put on the back burner. And it doesn't matter if I care or not. I'm NOT family...... it's them who is family. Or that's how they make me feel anyway. I know he isn't MY son. I totally understand that. But my friend and I feel like this. When another "parent" figure enters a child's life it is just another person to love that child. BE GREATFUL for that. But oh no we have selfish ass people who don't think that way. It's the sense of entitlement these BM's feel. I'm a BM. I don't do that. My kids SM comes running every time one of my kids is hurting. And although we are not friends I do not exclude her from those things.
Ugh I was typing with my
Ugh I was typing with my phone it's SS13. That is in the hospital. ;-( It's because of SD17 and BM that I can't be there.
I got to talk to SS13 after
I got to talk to SS13 after BM and SD left the hospital for a break. I do not believe my SO wants me there. He has not asked for me to come. And you are right luckykitten the last person needing to console each other is bio parents. I am so well aware of this. I don't even know where SO is spending the nights while he is gone. I am hoping it;s in the hospital with his son.
At this point it's a waiting game I guess. Waiting to see if swelling goes down. Right now he is breathing better so fingers are crossed. Thank you for all your prayers. I tried to stay strong when he called me. So hard to talk to sick kids who are scared. Just reassured him I'd be there in a heartbeat all he has to do is ask. Poor little man sounds so tired. And out of breath.
You and your skid were on my
You and your skid were on my mind a lot today. So glad you were.able to speak to the child. It probably meant a lot to him knowing you cared! Just wanted to say that you are still receiving many warm thoughts of support and strength. Please keep us updated!
Prayers and hugs to you tonight.
Well SO called me around 4
Well SO called me around 4 today and told me they were still waiting to hear back from the doctor but they would know by tonight if there was surgery needed. I have been sitting here waiting by the phone for 6 hours. Finally got a text a few minutes ago. That said, "sorry doctor didn't come back in we are still playing the waiting game"
I know I am not this boys mother. I understand that this is a stressful time for them and i'm sure scary. As I have gone through scary hospital stays with my own kids. But I'm starting to get really pist off. For one I have no idea where he is staying. If he is staying in the hospital or going to BM's house (he has done that before) For two I have opened my heart to SS13 and I care very much for him. I love him, I worry too. I know I am not his mother but I worry too. And of course that doesnt matter does it? I feel like i'm being selfish getting angry. But I can't help it. I think it's bullshit I sit here waiting for hours to know what is going on. And why does he not want me there? If it were me I'd be begging him to come hold my hand. To console me and help me help my child not be scared. I just am so confused.
Just like everything else in this relationship i am giving 150 percent and getting about 25 percent in return. I know that I need not be angry that I need to realize this isn't about me. It's about our son. But I guess I feel hurt. I'm allowed to be a part of SO family and him when it works for him.