3 weeks now.....
SO is going on almost 3 weeks of pretty much no contact with his boys but one or two phone calls. One was SS15 asking him to put money in their account. The other was a quick convo and both times BM was listening on the other end.
SD17 did call a few saturdays ago because SO offered to help pay for senior pics. But he has not heard a word since she called last wednesday after her mom read her the papers we had sent. She just yelled at him regarding the dollar amount and how does he expect them to live... they seem to forget that their MOTHER could get a JOB... and the live in BF makes $28/hr. Not saying SO should not take care of his kids but come on.. they aren't living under a tree. They bought a home. They bought a new car. They are doing just fine. Nobody is starving. Nobody is shopping at second hand stores LIKE I DO.
SO told SS17 that he wasn't having this conversation with her and it wasn't her concern. It was between him and her mother. And she hung up on him.
SS11 we have only got to talk to one time since they left in August. He has no cell phone. And BM is not answering or anything.
I am watching my SO become very sad. I do not know how to help him. Our lawyer told us it could take till Feb. to get anything done. For him to go till feb and not see his kids is going to kill him emotionally.
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We are going through
We are going through something very similar. It's been about a 2 months since DH has had a normal conversation with SD12 or visit. BM is slowly poisoning her. I don't really think SD12 wants to come to our house every single weekend now because she has her own activities (school stuff) lined up every weekend. Instead of BM trying to foster the relationship between DH and SD she just ignores both of them. I do believe my SD has an attachement disorder. She has no affection for anyone in her life. She even told my DH that it was ok if she didn't see him every weekend anymore because he has a new family now that he needs to spend time with. And she said this with a straight face. This broke his heart. The man has done everything in his power to be in this little girls life. Matter of fact even after BM cheated on him and left him for another man and tried to send him back to his home country he hung in there. Now that he's grown a pair and got a back bone we have issues. Of course she thinks I was the culprit who messed up the gravy train. She may be right. All I did was show him that I didn't need to hold anything over his head for him stay. I showed him that I needed a man not someone I needed to control or tell what to do.
I finally had to step back and let this all just play out. The calls only when she needed money (both SD and BM), the not calling him back and ignoring his phone calls (SD), BM never wanting to work with us on pick up and drop off - everything having to be controlled by her . . .DH is tired and he's taking a step back. Now everyone is in silent mode. It's like they are waiting to see who's going to call who first. I told DH that he needs to call and leave SD a voicemail every single day whether she responds or not. I never want her to be able to say her dad just dropped her because that would never be true. SD and BM better watch out though because my BS12 and I try very hard to make sure that DH is getting the love that he should have gotten a long time ago and life on our end is so easy and relaxing and they are just DRAMA. I do believe DH is enjoying the break.