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Something has to be wrong with me

bright1167's picture

Submitted by bright1167 on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 11:21pm

I let a 19 year old, stupid (literally) punk ruin my life on a daily basis. He is the biggest jerk I have ever met and, lucky me, I live with him. He is my step son. Why do I allow this person to push my buttons & make me unhappy in my own home? I want him to go! He makes bad decision after bad decision & refuses to listen to any advice. I don't want to hear "normal teenager" again! I think if I do I will scream!!!! Why is this what everyone says instead of doing something to change the behavior??? It shouldn't be normal! We as parents need to unite & stop the stupidity & the gargantuan sense of entitlement that makes these kids today so unlikeable. It's time to stop being doormats & practice some tough love earlier in life. Play by the house rules & enjoy a comfortable life awhile longer or don't play by the rules & get the hell out! We bail them out of mess after mess, big or small, and they expect it instead of appreciating it! Go on strike! Stop buying food. I have. We have no snack food & very little regular food. I can afford to go out to eat. He can't. Next, Wifi is getting a new password so his laptop won't work for what he uses it for. I pay that bill. He's stealing my Internet. Hide laundry supplies. Quit buying his toiletries. He's old enough to cuss at us in our house & make threats? He's old enough to buy deodorant. I could go on & on. I'm tired. Tired if his smug face. Tired of fighting with my husband. TIRED!

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momof5_1969's picture

Submitted by momof5_1969 on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 11:53pm

nothing is wrong with you .... and I'm right there with you! I stopped by treat foods. I have to buy other food because we have other kids in the house, but no treats. I quit buying chips, pop, sugar cereal. I quit buying the older ones deoderant and quit buying body wash. Quit doing their laundry. If they make messes, I go find them and I follow them until they clean it up. I'm with you though -- enough. I have a SD22 that I just got done packing up her crap and put it all in the garage and man it felt good. I know she is going to be pissed off with a capital P!! But ya know what? I don't care!! HA What is she going to do? Quit talking to me? Oh darn! Or better yet, destroy some of my property -- then I'll call the police and have her arrested. I know that sounds awful -- but she is psychotic and whacked. We kicked her out about a month ago. She hasn't come back to get her crap, so I packed it tonight. I think a month is long enough to wait for her to come get it. I just assisted her.

The rest of the skids aren't nearly as bad as her, and are tolerable. Have some issues here and there, but I can deal with them better than with her. When she is around all she does is cause problems -- I've even had two of her siblings tell me that she is crazy. When she is not around we have peace in the house. So much better. Your skid sounds like my sd22. Sounds like its time for him to shape up or ship out. I actually told my husband that either she left or I was going to. I'm still here.

novemberm's picture

Submitted by novemberm on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 6:24am

Sounds like my boyfriend's son, but he doesnt live with us. And he is dating a minor, and REFUSES to work. Hated me before he met me, and especially now bc I wont let the minor in our house. Never gonna happen. I wouldnt move in until my bf promised none of his kids would ever come in here. I knew they would ruin us, as all 3 are the same. Unfortunately, what I didnt realize was that even not living here, they can still cause major drama and problems. I am so thankful, though, I do not have to actually see them every day.

I don't get it. At 19, I was working full-time and taking 6 classes in college. This entitlement crap-what the hell???? It definitely needs to stop, before our future generations become the same way.

I commend you, for taking a stand and not enabling or giving in to this adult.

Sweetnothings's picture

Submitted by Sweetnothings on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 6:52am

I agree with you !! I wondered for years why, nobody else even noticed SD21's odd behaviour. Whenever I even raised an eyebrow, I was told normal teenage stuff, etc, etc, errrrr no........
I stood there waving my giant red flag for well over two years before I even got ' through' to DH and he started to show a real interest....by then it was way, way too late......
I started to disengage even back then, though I didn't know it was called that until I joined this site, what 3 weeks ago !! I really did believe I was the only one who was having these problems.....
Anything SD left behind was thrown out .... She was too darn lazy even to pack....she just scooped the crap from her floor straight into her suitcases !!!
She will never live with us again, and this has affected how I feel about the younger skid, no real trouble with that one, but will I let that skid move in, etc ??? No, once was enough !!

bright1167's picture

Submitted by bright1167 on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 4:48pm

I need to add that we don't have what some of these poor people deal with - there aren't drug problems or legal problems & he does have a job. It's the attitude, irresponsibility & sense of entitlement that causes our problems. He thinks he's better than everyone. He learned from BM to manipulate, lie & to use people, so we deal with a lot of that. I know my issues could be much worse, but the turmoil he causes on a daily basis is driving me crazy. He & I were not meant to coexist under the same roof. I can not wait until my husband has had enough & tells him to go live with his mom (not that I'm holding my breath that that will happen anytime soon).

bright1167's picture

Submitted by bright1167 on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 10:05pm

Yea - the food thing has become a huge issue for me. Because he is 19 & in shape, I guess his metabolism is crazy, but I also believe he could survive & be healthy on a smaller amount of food. It is ridiculous how much he can eat (this, I know, is actually normal unlike some of his other behavior). As I mentioned above I have not bought food in quite sometime. I have some simple requests for my kitchen. 1) Don't eat everything I buy within 2 days just because you are able & because it is there. 2) Do not cook anything without clearing it with me because you do not know what ingredients I need for the meal I am cooking next. 3) Clean up your mess. He basically flips me the bird (figuratively) & ignores my wishes & does whatever the hell he wants to do & eats what he wants to eat. Therefore, the food strike began. Since the SS does not contribute one cent for food, rent, electricity, water, Internet...I do not think these requests are unreasonable. When he decides to play by my rules, I will buy food. Until then, he can starve or scrounge.