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Name calling

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My SO and SD live 4 blocks from BM...for now until we find a house We were driving the other day in the car and BM and her son happen to pull up next to us. BM screams out of the window "You Mother F'n Creep!" Not provoked, just happen to be on the same road at the same time. She is NUTS! SD in the car and just looks down and says nothing (which I expect - she is 10). SO emails BM (that is the only means of communication and SO is very good about it. He never reacted to the comment being screamed at him.

Alcoholic ex husband

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My ex is an alcoholic, though he will never admit to it. After many years trying to make him see it (which never ever works)I had taken my two boys (9 and 6 at the time) and left. His third DUI was what made me throw in the towel, finally. Should have been sooner, this I have learned. Fast forward, my boys now 14 and 11, are really awesome. After a rough beginning with their father, we are civil and there is no arguing. Trust me, I despise him but I put it aside for my boys well being.

Incompetent parents

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My SO grounded his daughter after disrepctful behavior this weekend. She is entering the lovely tween years and the joys that come along with that are showing their evil ways. Needless to say, SO did the right thing (YAY) with grounding her, cutting their trip short and not letting her go to a bday party. He talked to her a lot over the weekend about her behavior and how she has rules to follow at his home, even though she may not have any her mother's. BM is a manipulative, brainwashing, diagnosed mental case!

Consequences for SD

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So, my SO and his child planned on a last getaway before sschool starts. Left Wednesday night and were planning on coming home Sunday. Just to the beach where SO's mom lives. I get a text yesterday around dinnertime that they were leaving that the SD was getting sever consequences for 'treating him like that'. So, I just said OK and asked if he was OK. He said he was but SD not so much. He stopped at my place on the way home because I had the dog. They came in and she took the dog and went for a little walk. I asked him what happened. He said its her attitude.

Disengagement

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So, I have a question - being new to the group I was told yesterday in my post to read about disengaging. I found it very interesting. Since I am new to this stepparenting thing becuase I am engaged and not living together yet, wouldn't it be a good idea to start off this way? Start off by disengaging? Right now, my issues with my SD are her spoiled antics. She is not disrespectful towards me (at least not yet because her father is on top of that). She is spoiled and loud (needs to be heard). I have never and never will discipline her.

Help!

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Hello! I am new to the forum and happy to have found this. I just need some advice from other step parents. I am divorced with two boys (14 and 11). I have been divorced for 5 years now and I am engaged to be remarried. My soon to be step daughter is 10. She can be a sweetheart, but she can be the complete opposite more so. I am not sure how to handle this. I feel she is spoiled and I feel my fiance is not even aware of it. I know I need to have a conversation about it, and I am at fault for hesitating. I do not want to hurt his feelings because she is his daughter.