Bliss....is it possible?
For the most part life goes fairly smooth around my home. But, my relationship with SD-12yr is so strained, there are days I don't even like to talk to her. She's ying..I'm yang, you get the picture. We just don't see eye to eye. I know I'm the adult and need to act accordingly, but at times I feel like throwing in the towel when it comes to her. Her actions can make my blood boil so. You see, it's my opinion she has absolutely no respect for me or the rules that are to be followed in the home. We have full custody of her and her 11yr old sister, so they live with us and visit their BM every other weekend.
She's just so different in many ways from her sister and my own biological children, I find it hard to relate to her. It's my opinion, (and it's shared by other family members) that she is very conceited and vain. She walks around and is always trying to draw attention to herself for one reason or another. I do my best to ignore her when this occurs, and I think it drives her more. She speaks inappropriately to me, her father and any other adult with no idea she's out of line. The talking back is relentless and I have gotten to the point of stopping her in mid conversation to remind her she is doing so, but to no avail. It still continues on a daily basis. She pays no attention to rules and doesn't mind breaking them when it is to her advantage.
I realize that all kids are probably guilty of doing some of these things, my own included. But, when do you say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I have spoken to BF about my issues with her, and it's something he tells me I have to work out with her. I'm tired of being stiff armed by him and especially by her behavior. She been punished/grounded on many occasions but it doesn't seem to resolve the initial problems, which I have mentioned. I've asked him to talk to her, and he does and it might get better briefly, but she always resorts to her true colors.
My only saving grace is that she will be gone for consecutive extended weekends until March. I for one can't wait for Fridays...cause she'll be out of my hair and I can have some peace and respect in my home.
Someone please tell me this is a phase that she will grow out of! :? :-? :puzzled:
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Is it possible she is insecure
I've found in my own life experiences when many times when a person acts conceited and vain it is because they are insecure or have very low self-esteem. Which makes them act out for attention/approval/to be noticed--because they don't feel good about themself. Twelve was a hard age for me--puberty,hormones,my body was acting all crazy, not quite a teen and not a little girl, somewhere in between--it sucked.
The disrespect and back talk I can totally relate too. My Ss's are very disrespectful to me and their dad--but he allows them to do so--and If I try to say something he gets really defensive. So the only thing I can advise on that---it's what I do--is anytime it is directed at me I handle it the way I would if it were one of my kids--difficult however because Bf does not do the same when it is directed at him. He usually says nothing and I can't really understand that. I'm hoping however that eventually Ss will start showing more respect to us.
Alisha