Being a SM is not the same as being a BM
Last night DH told me I will be a great mom because I'm a great SM. But being a mom and being a SM is not the same. I know to pack my youngest SD a thermos of lactose free milk and water bottles with her lunch. I know how to do their hair and help them with homework and I love them I really do love them. Now that I'm a full time SM I have more time to get to know them. That's great but it doesn't feel the same as being a BM. I didn't raise them from diapers and I feel no matter what their BM could do they will always love her more than me and they will cling to her side in a heartbeat because that is their mother. I don't know if I'm making any sense but I don't feel like I am a mom to anyone yet not until I feel t his growing human inside of me move in a few months maybe then I will start to feel something.
Also. I'm only 8 weeks along but I am having some raging hormones. I searched the internet and asked my mother its a normal thing but I don't like it one bit. One of those save the animal commercials came on and I was in tears about ready to jump in my car and drive to ASPCA. The other night I couldn't sleep and turned on the TV and there was an infomercial for feeding hungry kids in Africa. DH laughed at me for crying and I bit his head off because if he was a hungry kid that was counting on my 1 dollar a day he wouldn't be laughing. But after I blow up or recover from a depressing moment I feel so bad for being such a b----. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling right now. I meditated this morning and stretched so I'm thinking a little clearer. I'm done rambling now.
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-hugs- I am in the same
-hugs-
I am in the same position. 8 weeks pregnant & crazy. Just understand thatyour hormones are driving you insane & that's ok.
I felt like a mom the first time when I heard the heartbeat last week. I told DH I know it's different because even though I feel some love for SD & she's an alright kid, I think about this baby every single second of every day. I don't htink about SD even 1/8th as much. I just don't.
He's afraid SD will be treated differently. I told him, well of course I will love & bond with my own child - who I see daily - more than SD I see EOWE & in the summer. That's just natural.
Nobody seems to worry that SD won't treat me like a "real mom" because it's absured. So why is it not just absurd I would treat her like a "real daughter" ? I will love her, she will have the same rules as my children, etc. But I will not love her the same way I love my bios. It's so obvious now.
Yay someone who understands
Yay someone who understands my crazy! I'm going in on Thursday I'm so nervous to hear the heartbeat.
I cried. but I cry at
I cried.
but I cry at everything so DH didn't pay attention to me lol. But it was awesome to see his face light up. He is so excited it was like hearing it & seeing the baby made him realize how real it is.
You are so right. It isn't
You are so right. It isn't the same at all, and SMs who say they love all the kids the same, are lying, or in deep denial. It just is not possible. Don't worry about not feeling like a mom yet, that feeling and when it comes is different for everyone (and the hormones don't help). I know when I was preg I was starting to feel like a mom, but after a traumatic birth and some other issues, I felt like anyone could be her mom. It was very hard, but then when I could calm her down and no one else could, and she obviously loved me and preferred me over others, or when I could tell exactly what she wanted from a simple whine or cry, that's when I really started to have that feeling without a doubt. I never didn't love her, but I did feel like I was replaceable for a week or so. My hormones weren't bad while I was pregnant, but now, woo, I could cry over almost anything.
It is not the same...Never
It is not the same...Never will be. I know people like to think it is, but it is not. My BS, I would do anything for, my SS15, who I love dearly, I wouldn't. I have him 100% of the time and have for a couple of years now, but he is not mine and never really will be. Maybe if I had been around when he was a baby and BM wasn't around, I don't know, but I doubt it. When I came along, he was 6 years old and he was already who he is and most of that damage is divorce and BM related.
Once you have your own baby,
Once you have your own baby, you will truly understand selflessness, unconditional love and true responsibility. Your view of the world, your family, your husband and your life will change. No one can prepare you. And it is absolutely different than any love you have for your step children.
And don't worry about the crazy hormones. They're all part of the "fun". They help you to fall in love with the baby, help you protect your baby and even fall in love with your dh even more. Oh, and commercials will make you cry.
Enjoy!!!!
Being pregnant was
Being pregnant was uncomfortable, I felt like my body wasn't my own and I didn't like it, I was exhausted beyond exhausted (so OP, try getting some extra zzzz, it will help with the moods), and I don't get all the talk about how wonderful it is to be pregnant or give birth. It is something that I am glad happened to me, just as I am glad to have met and married my DH, glad to have some wonderful friends, etc etc. But I don't think the power to conceive has made me more special or more wonderful.
Sorry if I sound jaded. I have recently ended a friendship with a lovely woman who got pregnant and went insane. Since conceiving, she became unable to communicate on any topic other than pregnancy and babies and how wonderful it all is/was. Seriously.
I think being a mom is a big job that has a lot less to do with conception than it does with character. And being an SM has zero to do with conception and only maybe has anything to do with being a mom.