It's Wednesday and I came over after 8 for me to avoid SS today. He was still being put to sleep when i Arrived so I was quiet. I feel bad for SO. He hasn't been sleeping well without me here's this week. He looks terrible and now sounds kinda sick. We go to bed around 830 tonight. And SS starts. He coughs from his room then he comes in the hall and coughs. (He used to play sick alllllllll the time to get attention and finally told on himself a while back). Then he stomps thru the kitchen (outside our bedroom) coughing. We do nothing bc it's bs. I whisper to SO "are you awake".

I was told today that all my fears are just fears that aren't based in reality. Those being :
-the fear of SO and I not having our own space
-that other people /situations have or will take primary control over our relationship.
-that I'm not going to be supported
-that I'm unloveable
-getting hurt /rejection
-not being first
-abandonment
-that we will only do family activities.
(All but the last SO came up with)

(see previous blogs)

Last night I got my haircut then made it over by 7 our "ss8 goes to bed early night" and guess what?! SS8 was forced to be in his room or away from everyone at 7 pm actually instead of the two of them nonstop talking messing around wasting time. yay for now

I didn't have to see him or hear him too much even though he used the bathroom like 4 times in a row with a million flushes... letting me know he's there I guess.

I watched tv with my SO he got me some icecream and held me all night until we went to sleep.

SO decided last friday that I can no longer fully move in at the end of this month. I haven't actually slept at my own place since last September. He wrote a 9 page paper including our text messages the past few weeks and made copies for our counselor. Good!! She can explain to him that I am the most understanding level headed person alive. He cried later that he's trying to save our relationship.