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FaceTime Boundaries

Ber1979's picture

Submitted by Ber1979 on Tue, 10/13/2020 - 7:47pm

Not to long ago we had a phone call when the BM FaceTimed the kids while she was in the tub.  I spoke to my partner and we agreed this was not ok.  I thought she took care of it, but apparently that wasn't the case. The BM FaceTimed with the kids the other night again while in the tub.  
 

I was completely confused as to why this was happening again.  We talked to the kids after the phone call and my partner told the kids that we wouldn't be calling while anyone was in the tub or shower.

They went back to the BM house and she has a field day.  Saying there was nothing wrong with this and it's totally normal.

Wanted to reach out to others to get their take on this.  Struggling to understand.  Am I crazy for thinking this is inappropriate?

-Ber 

Comments

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Tue, 10/13/2020 - 7:52pm

Maybe she will drop the phone in the tub? 
 

Weird. She's hoping DH will check up on her and she will flash him.  She testing him.  

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Tue, 10/13/2020 - 8:14pm

100% she wants DH to see her in the tub. Normal people don't FaceTime their kids while in the tub.. seriously. 

NotThatTypical's picture

Submitted by NotThatTypical on Tue, 10/13/2020 - 7:56pm

Its different but not exactly unheard of. Really if it went infront of a judge I dont think they would care.

Lifer33's picture

Submitted by Lifer33 on Tue, 10/13/2020 - 9:23pm

Or start a conversation with the kids so they pan the camera to you? Facetime showing off seemed to stop in our house when she kept seeing /hearing me not dh 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 1:47am

What age are they?  I imagine they must be really young, as anyone over 11 would be disgusted by their mother facetiming them while in the bath.  So presumably there is some supervision required of the calls with these young(ish?) kids?  And presumably that is your DH?  So yes, it is totally inappropriate for her to be doing this, and honestly, what mother facetimes her kids while naked?  Ugh. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 5:33am

I'm torn on this. Some families are way looser with nudity than I would be, and might sit and chat with Mom while she's in the tub. If that's how they are, and this is normal for them, then I wouldn't challenge it, as long as your partner isn't part of the calls. But if this is odd and out of character for BM, and the kids aren't comfortable, then it needs to be addresssed.  I also assume she's just showing her face and not her naked body on the call. 

Ber1979's picture

Submitted by Ber1979 on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 5:59am

DW(same sex marriage) is part of the phone calls as the EW calls her cell.  This has never been part of the calls until last year. We have been together for 3 years.  I told my partner that a phone call in the tub wouldn't bother me, but FaceTiming crosses the line.  It's just another one of those things she does.  Trying to learn what to let bother me and what to let go.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 6:10am

Okay, then it's completely inappropriate. Your DW should tell her to call back when she's out of the tub, and hang up. 

Ber1979's picture

Submitted by Ber1979 on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 5:53am

Thanks for the thoughts.  It's definitely an aggravating situation.  It's nice to hear from others who understand.