Using children as a weapon
Yesterday my dh and bm had an argument through text about my sd7 being upset over the clothes that we send her to school in. Well it was a one sided argument really with bm doing most of the texting. It ended with bm saying that the sks wouldn't be coming over for their weeknight visit anymore. Because my sd7 said she doesn't want to and she (bm) knows that's what abby1979 wants anyway. BUT she is still going to send my ss9 over because she doesn't want to make MY life to easy. Really? How did this become about me? Not to mention she came right out and admitted that she will only send her son to my house for spite. I have not talked to this woman in months but this proves to me that she's behind my SS9's behavior toward me.
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If he were my husband, mine
If he were my husband, mine would call BM out for violating the custody order via email with screen shots and highlighted paragraphs from the CO. Then he would let BM know that if she doesn't do as she is ordered to do he will file contempt of court. But I know others on here have gone the opposite approach and just ignored the whore or sent back "okay" and then their BMs would cave because they realize they have no leverage after all. It all depends on your situation. In our own BM would just love it if DH gave her SS more so giving into her would not help; court is the only thing that scares her into following the order. From what I read your DH should say either they both come or they both go.
I agree either they both come
I agree either they both come or neither come at all. He hasn't responded at all yet and I don't know if he will. In the past threatening her with court does nothing because she thinks she is untouchable.
If she doesn't follow the co,
If she doesn't follow the co, call the cops to make a report. Then if she does it the following weekend, get another report and file in court.
Calling the cops and making a
Calling the cops and making a police report is what I also suggested if she withholds visitation at least to document. My dh at this point just sees the situation as hopeless. He doesn't have the money for a good lawyer and has been burned several times in the past with the affordable ones in family court. Here lawyers take cases from Bms with no payment at all from them because they all are confident the fathers will be forced to pay the bms attorney fees. Last time he went to court with her and lost jail time was hung over his head until he paid her attorney fees.
Just make sure you start
Just make sure you start thinking long term . Save the screen shots, print them and save in a binder and scan to a computer so you have duplicates. Do it every time. Even if you dont go to court, there may be a time when the kids are older and dh will want to prove to his kids that he tried to see them. You dont know what lies bm is telling sd. He should also make sure sd knows he wants to see her. Even if its just telling her he missed her the next time he sees her.
Warn her that you will look
Warn her that you will look to enforce the CO and if she ignores, call the police. PAS is not viewed favourably in courts and I'm hearing of more BM's losing their custody rights bc they play these games and endanger their children's mental health