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Mooching biomom

Bells2993's picture

Submitted by Bells2993 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 2:07pm

Well,

 

Here is the background story.

 

Biomom is 32, and has two kids with my current partner. The girls are 2 and almost 4yo.

She moved out one year ago and lives with her parents in their upstairs  apt.

She has the kids for half the week, and then we do.

She insisted on getting a nanny, as she supposedly wanted to get back to work or start her own business or whatever.

Anyhow, fastforward to a year after they got a nanny (8h per day), she is still unemployed and doesnt do anything. I mean, she literally does not work, has the kids only 3 or 4 days a week and still has an 8h nanny mon-fri. I can only suppose that my partner provides all the clothes and toys and stuff for the girls, I have never outright asked if he does. 

I asked him, why she doesnt get a job, or if she doesnt want to, why make him pay for a nanny? He said that if she is to start working then she needs some time to plan (like a year i guess lol).

Plus he added that he wants his kids to be in a good psychological state and they wont be if their mother will be frustrated, having to spend her whole 3 days with them. 

 

I dont know why he puts up with this situation. I mean, he makes good money but he also works very hard, and his ex girlfriend is a miserable, mooching useless parent. 

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 2:26pm

This is the same nanny lady that then comes to Dad's house and does the same as nanny does over at BM;s (tend the kids(, right?

I suppose BM and Dad like having the consistancy of one nanny and the little ones are use to her and in a routine. 

If you really want to know what your SO pays for vs what is required in the court order , read his CO/PP. 

Except for venting here about it, it doesn't sound as if youre yet in a position to confront and put a stop to it. For starters, Dad is happy with the arrangement. Perhaps they had an agreement that BM would be mostly STH with the littles until school age? 

My two cents says BM should work even if only part time , for her own sake and sanity if nothing else. To start pulling her own weight for a legitimate reason. 

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 2:32pm

If dad doesn't mind paying for a nanny, why do you care?  Unless, he is expecting you to chip in, it really isn't your concern.

The parents decided how they wanted to parent^/raise their children.  Unfortunately, their relationship did not work out.  That does not mean they should abandon all of the parenting choices they made prior to the split.

Mom just moved out a year ago.  That means your relationship with this man is still pretty new.  If you don't agree with his parenting and financial choices, move on.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 4:51pm

And you don’t know where his money is going ? Don’t know what he pays for ?  Does he pay for the nanny ?  Why doesn’t the nanny come over your house with the SK so she can take care of them at your house ??

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 5:14pm

They aren't married.

BM moved out a year ago so this is a new relationship.  The man not disclosing all of his financial information this early is a good thing.

 

 

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 5:17pm

Op has called the man husband, partner and boyfriend.

I think it depends on her mood of the day. lol

Likely boyfriend as not many wives slip and call their husband their boyfriend *shrugs*

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 7:51pm

but he often refers to me as his "wife" and I refer to him as my "husband"    Probably because we've been living together for longer than most marriages on this board-- certainly longer than he was legally married to the Girhippo.

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Sun, 05/27/2018 - 5:28pm

Bell, do you realllllllllllly believe what he is telling you?

Plus he added that he wants his kids to be in a good psychological state and they wont be if their mother will be frustrated, having to spend her whole 3 days with them. 

------------------------------------------

I bet since she is living with mommy and daddy. 1. she has free or greatly reduced day care vouchers. 2. Food Stamps, Welfare and medical and wic for sure.  AND she may be given extra money permonth to help pay the rennnnttttt.

You know that single mom status. She could go to a tech school GET more money to line her pockets and have cost paid for...

  So tell me again why she can not care for her kids?