It's been some time now since I've completely disengaged from my boyfriends 2 boys. They are 9 and 11 and really good kids. I just don't want to be a part of their lives or them a part of mine. Sad thing to say, but I've harboured some pretty deep resentments towards them about various things and it all came to this. It works. It may not be even vaguely close to a life I would have envisioned at any time growing up, but for us in this situation, it seems to be working. We may still have little hurt feelings here and there that it couldn't just be easier... either I just accept his kids in all their glory or he doesn't bring them to our house.... but it is what it is.

My Grandparents kind of judge me for it. Say it's too bad for the sake of the kids that I can't feel more loving towards them. I mentioned that it's either SO and I live separate lives on the weekends his kids are here or we break up... for us, this works. They say they understand and know that no matter what, you cannot love another child like your own.... but I feel like they think less of me for this!!

Sometimes I think it may have been the better decision to break up just so I don't look like a monster because I don't like his kids and all the drama they drag with them!! I obviously don't go into detail about why I don't like them so all they see is 2 well behaved kids that I don't like and they can't figure out why!!

Ugh. Too bad the world didn't know how hard it is to have kids around that you have no say in or control over.... but get to live in your house and you just deal with it.

SO and I have been doing really good with the schedule lately. I work early mornings on the weekends (I would anyway and do on weekends they aren't here) so mornings is their "downtime" where they relax and watch TV. Then before I get home by 2 they are out the door and gone to a planned activity! They come home and either I'm in bed or they go straight to bed and then I'm up and gone by the time they wake up and so on!! It's great!! They come for an entire weekend and I sometimes don't see them once!! Odd that I am still a little upset at the fact that they are even here at all.... always seeing signs of little messes they leave. Candy wrappers everywhere (they have an endless supply of candy that their mom always sends with them)... socks that the dog chews on.... toy cars.... There is always evidence of them around.

But it's waaaaaay better than it has been up until we finally figured this out!!

I recommend disengaging to anyone!! Let your SO know your plan, get him on board and work out a schedule that you both have to stick to!!! Awesome.