FDH told me last night and again this morning that SD is getting on his nerves. And to that I say "GOOD!" because she's being really annoying and acting like GUBM lately. Hell, she's been on my nerves for this whole past week. This might be the right way to lead him into seeing that bending over backwards for her happiness is making things WORSE rather than better. The last two visits, he didn't do this and SD was completely tolerable at her worst and completely enjoyable at her best. Now, she's barely even tolerable at her best.

He's getting tired of her entitlement, he's getting tired of the way she messes up or acts like a brat and then pretends like nothing is wrong or like she did nothing wrong, he's basically just tired of all the crap she does that is mirroring the worst traits of GUBM. Today, he had to take her for another PSSA section and he is still upset over her behavior all last week and this weekend. But, since he worked last night and had not slept yet, he didn't want to talk to SD about it yet because he knew his temper would be short and that he would yell when it wasn't needed. So he drove her silently to her test (or from her test, I don't remember) and she just says "Is everything OK?" honestly asking because she has no idea that he's upset with her or that she has done anything wrong. Now, mind you, he told her very clearly last night, and Saturday (not so clearly but clear enough in his opinion), that he's displeased with the way she's behaving. I was in the room when he talked to her last night, but I stayed out of it besides to text him that he's being a pansy (in way nicer words) when it comes to SD. I heard him say it in words that a four year old would understand. But she clearly just doesn't get it, ever. Whatever.

Yesterday, she pissed him off by not doing schoolwork. When he came home from work in the morning, he told her to get a measly 3-4 assignments done since she had testing this morning and wouldn't have a full day to work (then again, she's still technically supposed to be doing schoolwork on the weekends because - shocker - she still isn't caught up and at a point where she would finish the end of next month). She agreed, but, she didn't do any of it. FDH didn't tell me, so I was unaware but I figured that if she was supposed to be doing anything beyond playing on her phone and reading her for fun book, she'll just dig that hole for herself. Not my problem. When FDH confronted her about it after he woke up, she got all indignant and pissy about it saying that she's sooooo tired and overworked.

Oh, please. She acts like we force her to get up at 6AM and work on school non-stop until midnight every night when the reality is, she drags her ass out of bed around 9:00AM most days, doesn't get started until about 10:00, does maybe one or two assignments before giving herself a "much needed" break until about 2:00 or 3:00 and then churns out a few assignments before we get home from work. And on the days that FDH is home with her? Oh, he lets her take ample breaks. He lets her go for hour long walks in the middle of the day, takes her to the library, lets her do fun things. But, no, we're so mean and working her to death!

And she says she knows that she's supposed to work on this on weekends until she's at a place where she can stop doing that, but she's still trying to force the situation to what she wants - even though she's not supposed to do that. But, again, FDH messed up and didn't dole out the consequences, but, it wouldn't have worked because she's acting like GUBM. Meaning that when he had her sit there and do schoolwork after he woke up, she pouted, sulked, cried, and made herself all frustrated to the point where she COULDN'T work.

So what does FDH do? Tries to negotiate with her. "Well, SD, do you want to do work tonight, or, do you want to do work after your test tomorrow?" *eyeroll* After I witnessed that train wreck I told him "Firstly, you're her father, you shouldn't be negotiating with her beyond "which subject do you want to work on today?" Second, she's acting like GUBM, who acts like a terrorist on a good day. Do NOT negotiate with terrorists. It will not get you anywhere you want to be. And all that's going to do is encourage her to act more like an asshat when she doesn't get what she wants. Because she'll know that all she has to do is throw her weight around in crazy hysterics and get her way."

Today he's even MORE pissed off at her because of her stark refusal to do anything she doesn't want to do. She had her writing test today and had to write two essays that were 3-4 paragraphs. She finished in an hour. He's been trying to get her to write essays of similar length for her English class this whole month and she takes WEEKS to do them. But, in my view, it's classic SD. She refuses to do something, she uses things as a crutch (no attention span, writer's block, and now what her stupid counselor said last Thursday, side note below) and latches onto those crutches until FDH gets mad at her and forces her to do the work. And then, of course, FDH is "mean" and we're "working her too hard" because she just wants to play and have fun and not actually DO school, shouldn't claiming that she WANTS to do school be enough?? *snort* What a bunch of buffoons.

Side Note on her latest crutch: SD's counselor told her that when kids have to switch households that are different in rules or structure, it can sometimes take 10-14 days to get into the habits of the house. She's using that crutch now like it's going out of style. Even though she's been here since March 5th. And even though, when she goes to GUBM's, she immediately slides right into the routine of doing NOTHING but what she wants there. I could kick her counselor for giving her another crutch to use (this is why I think FDH should have talked to him FIRST). Because she sure as hell is flaunting that around like it's not HER fault she can't get in line when, really, at this point, it totally is.

He's super frustrated and doesn't know what to do, so, I said "well, there are things that you and I have to talk about in my counseling session Tuesday, so, why don't you come in first thing at the appointment and we can talk about this, too. And don't worry, you can share ALL of this with SD's counselor before her appointment this week." But I'm enjoying sitting back and watching him deal with the mess he's made for himself this month. Disengaging is FUN. Lol.