SD will be moving with her mom, and, if she moves in with us, it won't be until the coming school year.

SO talked to GUBM today and, apparently, SD has been flip flopping back and forth between what she wants all weekend while talking to GUBM. "I want to stay here" "I want to move with you, GUBM" "I want to live with dad" "I want to live with you, GUBM", back and forth, clearly demonstrating that she hasn't had enough time to make a proper decision and to show that she is making only an emotional decision that will surely result in SD throwing a fit in a month and saying "NO I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE!" wherever that might be. Better it happens at GUBM's, I say. SO thinks so, too.

It disappointed him to have to do it, but, he told SD that the move out here will have to wait until the fall so that there's more time to prepare for everything because less than a week is not enough time to get her into a decent school out here and moved in. Doing it all over the course of three days is just impossible. GUBM would have to overnight SD's credentials to SO so he could go register her, then, SO would have to drive to NJ on Friday to go get SD and her stuff and then drive home with her. She'd have two days to get settled in before school started on Monday. Better to let GUBM be the one to put her through that kind of stress. If she waits until the fall, she could move out here in mid-August and have a few weeks to settle in before she had to start school. And, by then, we could be living within city limits so she could go to a decent public school.

SO talked with SD and GUBM together (they had him on speakerphone) so they could both explain it to her. He said that SD sounded disappointed and that it made him upset, but, I think they both handled it as best as they could and let her know that it isn't a "no" it is just a "not right now, let's finish out this school year, first". Largely, this is what I had felt would be best at first, myself, and I had posed that option to SO. Let SD move with GUBM, then, let her move out here with us in the fall if she really wants to live with us. It's probably all for the best, especially because of my plan to purchase a house for us to live in over the summer, so, there's going to be a lot going on over the next 6 to 8 months that will, realistically, make things kind of crazy for SD if she were to move in this Friday. Then there's the fact that, based on our street address, SD would only be able to go to an awful school in a pretty crummy area unless we wanted to pay $14k to the city for her to attend a public school. But, there are private school options and those would be more feasible to arrange were she to start in the fall.

So, long story short, SO is a bit bummed out, SD is disappointed, and I feel a little bit more relaxed to just know what is going on right now and knowing that my life isn't getting turned upside down at an already stressful time for me. May sound selfish, but, when you have as many health conditions as I do that are triggered by stress, you kind of enjoy keeping the stress to a minimum.

ETA: I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. I think I was actually kind of looking forward to having her here (yes, weird, I know given how much hell she dishes out to me when she's here), but, maybe in the fall.