I was talking to my mom tonight on my way home from work. Kind of a big mistake, but, you live and learn, right?

Anyway, she asked me how SD was, I told her I didn't know. She asked if SO has been talking to her. I said I didn't know. She asked when SD was going to come visit again and I said I didn't know. "Well, what DO you know??"

I explained to her that I've detached myself from the stress and drama associated with SO's kid and ex for my own health and sanity. This was not satisfactory enough for her. She told me it was 'unhealthy' and that I was 'ignoring a problem' that should be addressed. That I was going to ruin my relationship with SO because I was not inserting myself into what our couples counselor called the anxious dance that the three of them engage in.

I told her that I was not ignoring any problems, but, that given the way SO gets treated by GUBM and SD that it is far healthier for myself and, more importantly, our relationship, for me to be disengaged and detached from the drama. I told her that I ask him questions about things when I'm curious, but, that he doesn't run to me with all of the drama like he used to. I'm much happier with it this way because I don't get instantly angry when he gets text messages from either of them. I don't have to stress out having to hear how shitty either one of them has been to him this week. I get to decide when I hear what's going on (or not going on). Yes, it still bothers me when I find out that they're assholes to SO, but, I don't have to live my life in a cloud of stress and misery because news of this heinous behavior is not just around the corner, ready to pounce at any second. Nope, not good enough. I told her that I felt like I was doing the right thing and that I had confirmation from my counselor that I was, so, I was satisfied with my choice. "Oh, OK, but, it's still not healthy." Ugh. OK, Mom, I shouldn't have to justify my choices to you, but, whatever.

I seriously think she just wants to hear all the dirt on SD and GUBM and she's trying to convince me that it's not healthy because she knows she won't get any dirt if I'm not attached to the drama. She's so weird like that. She complains about drama and stress, but, she's always the first to ask about those kinds of things. She does it to my sister, too. She'll tell my sister she hates her friends because they're so overly dramatic about everything, but, when she hasn't heard anything about them in a while, she'll sit down and ask my sister to "dish" on the latest dirt. And she just eats it up. But, I don't want to talk about that nonsense when I talk to my mom. I want to talk about me :/ It's almost like she craves the drama of it all because it's "exciting", but, she doesn't realize how detrimental that much stress is to my health. Or, maybe she does but just doesn't care, I don't know. She hasn't always been the most stellar mom.