Disengagement is still going strong.
SD has actually deemed it appropriate to be in the same room as me when SO isn't around.
The other night she vacuumed the living room floor. She wouldn't come near me, though, and vacuum the floor in front of the couch I was sitting on. Whatever.
Last night, she actually said "excuse me" when she was trying to lug the vacuum into her bedroom. SO told her to dust and vacuum her room Wednesday night while we were out on our date night excursion, and during dinner last night she said "I don't think I did as good of a job as I should have vacuuming" (translated from SD speak: she didn't do it and was covering her ass). I think the "excuse me" was just for the simple fact that SO was sitting right next to me.
Then, she actually apologized to me when she broke something of mine while in the kitchen. SO and SD were in the kitchen an awfully long time from the point of breaking glass to the point where she came out and apologized, so, I can't help but wonder how much of the apology was at his own urging and not because she felt sorry.
Unfortunately for SD and SO, she broke what trust I had in her, so, I can't trust what she says as well as I used to, plain and simple. It sucks, but, I guess I'll just have to take everything at face value for now and trust SO when he says she was sorry and felt badly about breaking my glass. Him I still trust.
Also, SO is, for some reason, hell bent on the idea that if he can just get SD to realize how she was wrong in all of this that things will get better in the house. I do think that he should help guide her into understanding how what she did/the way she acted towards me was wrong, but, I really wonder why he thinks I'm going to re-engage if SD comes to those realizations and apologizes? I explained to him the other night that an apology will begin the mending process, but, that it will take HER hard work to see it through to completion, eventually. I told him that he can't really expect me to be all "Oh, OK, SD! Everything is hunky-dory now!" I might love her, but, right now, I don't really like her and it's going to take some repairs to make me like her again.
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Hahahahaha. Maybe I should
Hahahahaha. Maybe I should invite her to play a co-op shooting game on my Xbox and just kill her character over, and over, and over again.
That's the gamer equivalent of pounding the snot out of someone in the front yard.
She is inherently a fairly
She is inherently a fairly awesome person. It's the behaviors that are issues, and from my standpoint, they're behaviors that can be changed with guidance from SO. Not immediately, but, in time. The behavior that caused me to disengage is what she directs at everyone. She's just all around acts very rude and disrespectfully, but, I decided that I wasn't going to let her be rude and disrespectful towards me anymore. Hence my disengagement. She's even rude to SO. She barely interacts with him at this point but, she can sit there and text message people all day/night long.
For instance, she just crept out of her bedroom and quietly sat herself down at the dining room table for a good 10 minutes text messaging someone. Yet, she said nothing to acknowledge her father in the next room. I find that weird, rude, and of absolutely no benefit to her whatsoever.
But, yes, I do love her. And maybe one day I will want to be close to her the way I wanted to be close to her before the drama started during this visit. Until then, I will remain disengaged. If she acknowledges my presence when she enters a room, I will do the same, but, I'm not sticking my neck out for her to stomp on anymore.
I can only hope that he will
I can only hope that he will eventually understand what I have been trying to tell him for the past five days. He keeps holding on to that hope that one day things will just be magically better. :/