I have 2 sd's, 1 ss, 3 bd's and 1 bs. The problem is with my sd17. SO let's her do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. The rest of the household has to revolve around her schedule and her whim. Oldest sd18 just left for college a few weeks ago, so she really isn't affected by this now. SS15 basically just spends ALL of his time in his room now and my oldest bd's 14 and 16 are starting to do the same. I walk around irritated all of the time now. I'm just biding my time until she goes off to college too. If I tell her to something or not do something, she just ignores me. It hasn't always been this way. This has become our way of life just within the last year or so. She has ALWAYS had a different set of rules, which I resented, but I dealt with it. But this new behavior is making me crazy. And my constant bad mood is now affecting my relationship with my kids and my other 2 skids.

My dilemma is this....Is it possible to disengage from 1 skid and not the others? And when I have brought up the idea of disengaging before, my SO was completely against it and it caused a MAJOR disagreement. I love ALL of the kids, but I can't live like this. According to my SO, my sd17 has a different personality and therefore needs to be treated completely differently than all of the other's and I am just being insensitive to her needs.

I say what about mine? She is completely disrespectful to me all of the time and she is now becoming out of hand with my younger kids too. Example....over the weekend, my bs11 and bd8 were sitting at the dining room table playing with legos and they started laughing a little too loudly for sd's liking. She came out of her room and screamed at them to shut up, then went back in her room and slammed the door. By screaming at them , I mean she screamed so loud that our doxie pottied right where he stood and he does not scare easily. My SO said she was probably just stressed out because she's prepping for her ACT. Not at all a good reason for that.

My bd8 is a little heavy and so we stick to a fairly careful meal plan and make sure she stays active. Occasionally we have a fun treat like ice cream, if she has done a good job of sticking to the healthy foods and without fail, sd17 just has to make a crack about bd8 being fat.

I'm pretty good at keeping my anger in check, but it is getting harder and harder. And I find myself more frequently taking my kids to my mother's house and staying there longer and longer. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do. Any advice?