I am so sorry for that. I honestly dont think you over reacted. Somethings are just so important and have rules in place to protect them that when shit like this happens theres no other way to react.

Hi Asher,

I know you and I have had some issues in the past, and I hope my replying does not cause you any more stress. Just wanted to offer my support.

I am so very sorry that she trashed your hard work. What she did sucks!!!! You spent valuable time on something that you poured your heart in to only to have his D ruin it. I can understand your anger and if kicking her destructive ass out makes you feel better, no judegements here.

She doesn't hate you. She is acting out b/c her BM is putting her in to an unstable state of mind and unfortunately, you and DH are bearing the brunt of that. That's not an excuse for her behavior. It was wrong and I hope that DH finds an appropriate punishment for what she's done aside from sending her packing.

I once spent time on a beautiful piece of staind glass for my SO's D. Something very nice and unique for her birthday. I didn't sign it intentionally, so that no one would know who made it. SO's mother slipped up and asked how SO's D liked the staind glass Distorted had made for her and SO's D took it outside and smashed it in to a million tiny pieces. Up until she found out that I made it, she absolutely loved it. When pushed further as to why she smashed it, she said her mother told her that she was to destroy ANYTHING Distorted gave her. Problem is, I didn't give it to her. I made it for SO so that he could give her something unique for her 18th birthday.

Anyway, I certainly feel for you and I hope that in time, you will be able to regain some peace.

What a f n bitch! I've been reading your blogs Asher and I despise your SDs BM and now your SD. First of all what the hell was she doing up at 2 in the morning on a school night!?

Good for your DH to have taken that brat home. I would not allow her to come back into your home not unless she plans on buying you new material to restart your sculpture and make HER pay for a lock for your studio. Make her pay for it all. I would also be tempted to go into her room and break her stuff but that would be immature of me.

Hugs to you Asher.

As a writer and creative person, I totally get what you are going through. It's a lot of hard work and inspiration to create something. I hope you will end up with something even better.

What SD did is downright sick, abusive, and evil. She is showing you the true depths of her hatred. Whether it's BM's fault or not, that little girl needs serious help or to be sent to juvie, depending on whether she can be reached or not. That behavior is on a par with torturing animals and we know where that leads.

I would have serious reservations about allowing her in my house after that. Like the big hell to the NO. Let DH visit her somewhere else. Maybe they're taking it all out on YOU--he needs to stop it and protect you. I wouldn't feel bad about cursing her. She deserved it and she needs to see that her actions have consequences. If you suck it up and allow her back what will that teach her?

The only good thing that may come out of this is, DH gets to see the truth about his "DD" and maybe this is the line in the sand you need to stop this destructive train from running over your life.

All I can say is I'm so sorry this happened. You had every right to react the way you did - the 2 of them have been playing you lately and they both get what they deserve. karma will come around.

Nobody but another artist can understand how much it hurts to have your creation destroyed.

I do not blame you one bit. That little bitch is becoming mini-BM, isn't she?

Sorry you are going through this.

Ash...as I'm reading this story, I think to myself: "How cool is Ash, she's a sculpter....I would love to see her work"

...then my next thought is..."this reminds me of that freaky movie Orphan, where the adopted girl rips out the roses that the mother planted for her dead child"....

Then I realize....maybe I should have another cup of coffee this morning.

(sorry this happened to you Ash...(hugs))

I like Lizze's idea. Juvie. Call the police and have vandalism charges pressed against her. Show her you are not fucking around. But got to DH. As pissed as you are a hug from him might make it hurt a lille bit less.

Oh Asher...my heart goes out to you. You've had such a horrid week...well longer then that but with BM's last stunt and now this? Geesh-can you not get a break-how horrible!!!!! She (BM) HAD to put her up to this....the SD is reacting negatively to all the pas and evil her mom sets her up for-of course she is getting old enough to make her choices-that was so very messed up I don't know where to start even!

I can imagine that it is SO upsetting right now! Gosh...i don't know what to say....so I'll just send you a big hug ((((((ASHER)))))))

I am so sorry Asher, she is a little bitch. I am not an artist, but I can still imagin the time and effort and heart that you put into that piece, just for the little bitch to come and smash it. I completly understand wanting her out of your house.

(((hugs)))

No it was not an accident why else would she be in your studio? I mean somewhere where she KNOWS she is not supposed to be. That tells it all right there.

Sorry you are going through this. ((hugs))

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your reaction was perfectly normal and perfectly appropriate for what your SD did -- do NOT second guess yourself, please.
My hope is that you can soon feel calmer, but given the transgression, I guess you need to just ride out the rage and hurt over the injustice that's been done to you. I just am sending healing thoughts to you.

Asher, I'm so sorry....I just don't know what else to say, this is so unbelievable that a 13 yr old would do something so disrespectful & cruel. Whether BM put her up to it or not, a 13 yr old knows right from wrong. I hope your DH is getting his gut full of this satan spawn's lies and actions. My heart goes out to you, but please, the sculpture sounds so beautiful, so please don't give up on it. If anything, completing it could be the best revenge on the little beotch.

Asher, I literally have no words to say. This is cruel and horrific... I thought the episode with the cafe was the worst thing I have ever read on this site so far but no, this one trumps it. I have no more advice to give you other then what has been said already, but words of encouragement I suppose. Make that sculpture even more beautiful than it was before.

I can tell through your posts that you have a good soul. Every story you tell begins or contains, and this one included care for other people, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and I can see that you have a good heart, and care for other people. This offense will take nothing short of a LONG TIME to forgive, and move past, and don’t feel bad for that... take that time. I agree that you should not let her in your house again for a very long time. Take that extra few days on your trip to recover.

I cannot imagine the pain that you are in right now, and I know that if it was me I wouldn’t want my husband to try to consol me either... when I am hurt I need time to myself. Let yourself have that time. I am so sorry, you are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Majka

my heart goes out to you, asher. ss17 destroyed my flower garden last year and i know how much it hurts, to have something so lovingly created be gone in a few minutes. at the time, my dh did nothing, but ignoring his son's cruelty came back later to haunt him. i hope that yours inflicts the worst of all punishments on sd....otherwise she is free to continue on her merry little way. take some time...start over. i had to wait all winter to work on my garden again, and i think thats the best way to go. now i have more energy and the work i'm going to put into it is with love, not anger. when youre ready, you'll know. in the mean time, i'm sorry this happened to you and i hope you and dh are able to get through it together.

Oh Asher--Wish I would hug you now.

One good thing I can say..your husband saw things for what they really are and seems deeply moved by how upset you are. He knew she done that on purpose. It must be obvious because most dads would swear it was an accident.

Good luck with your work. WIsh we could see it.

Wow...just wow....

I say make it very very clear that she is not welcome back in your house. Yes, you can do that! She was given directions NOT to go in your studio, which was the only place in the house she wasn't allowed. She broke the rule, now she can be forbidden from the house completely. Because, if she does this and gets away with it, there will be no stopping her! Now is the time for DH to realize how he's screwed up with SD and BM all along. DH will just have to make arrangements to see her elsewhere. You do not need that little skank in your life.

Yes, I have forbidden both adult skids from my home. It is MY house, I own it, in MY name, lock stock and barrel. At first DH was all whiny about "where, oh where will I visit my kids?" I had no sympathy (by that point I couldn't have cared less). I told him there must be a billion other places in this country where they could meet, just not HERE!

I think criminal charges are in order. That girl has gone too far. My SD14 is not allowed back in our house until I get an aoplogy for all the lies. You have a right to never have her in your home again. She sounds just like my vindictive little SD. What gives these girls the right to treat people like trash?

I would tell your DH she is never allowed back in the home. He can have a relationship with her outside the house. But, that is the extent you can handle.

I am sorry for what she did. <>

Asher, I'm so sorry for what you're feeling. I am an artist too. I make cakes, like Cake Boss and Ace of Cakes, where there are many parts, sculpting, hand-painting, figurines, all that stuff. I've had some of my stuff destroyed by my kids and the dog and it's so maddening. But I know they've never done it on purpose (except for the dog, but that's just a dog-thing!). It's funny though, it always seems that, after it's been destroyed, I've been able to make what I was working on better than it was before. So after you've been able to deal with your feelings and calmed down, when you get back to work on your sculpture, I'll bet you anything that it will be even better than it was in your mind's eye before it was destroyed.

Peace to you.

Ash,

Hugs! I got nothing else. I am not artistic and my son (SS-18) is not in the least bit malicious so I have nothing even remotely similar to understand how you are feeling.

Just hugs!

Please recreate your masterpiece of love between you and DH and share it.

I for one would love the opportunity to appreciate your art.

Best regards,

Your a sculptor can't you make up some voodoo dolls :).
As for sd 13 mine is the same age and completely ignorant and rude and things go missing when she doesn't get her own way. Like my engagement rings I took off when I was cooking. I couldn't prove it was her. At least you proved it was sd. Even though what satanic spawn was evil don't let it break up your relationship. Your dh stood by you more than some of us can say. And look at the photo the sculpture was based on sounds like it was a good time with 2 people in love.

Asher --you doing ok?