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My thoughts on cheating

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:58am

1. It's not an excuse to bash sm to the child or pas.

2. It's not ok.

3. If you cheat on your spouse/so or are "the other person," you need to expect that a lot less people will like you and more people will think unfavorably of you. More people will likely judge you. So it will be very hard for most to feel any sympathy for you if you decide to complain about the treatment you receive. Some may even say, "you play, you pay."

4. If you were/are the "other person," don't expect anyone but your family and friends to feel any sympathy for you if YOU get cheated on. Anyone other than your loved ones will tell you that we all reap what we sow.

5. I feel like this "don't judge" attitude is a huge part of why our culture has run amok. It seems like anything goes these days Sad

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 11:00am

A-MEN!

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:04pm

I completely agree. I feel like, even if you think your relationship is over, it is not truly over unless BOTH parties know about this. If you want to wet your willie so badly, break up with your current FIRST...then go have sex with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader squad for all I care!

BUT - there are some situations, mine included - where the truth is not black and white. I don't feel like I was the "other woman." My DH doesn't feel like he was a cheater. However, if you asked BM, I am sure she would see things in a different light. Because they had a dysfunctional relationship from the get-go. Even though they were broken up. Even though they were living in separate places! SHE had two of HIS children (so she claims) and in her mind, that automatically makes him HERS for.ev.er.

Oh, they were never married either. That tends to complicate things a little more (when you break up and get back together repeatedly) than if you have filed for or gotten a divorce.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 5:02pm

I dont see why you wont take me back its not like Ive cheated this time!
________________________________________________________________________________

THIS time!! LMFAO yeah wow, I should just forget all the other times eh? Wow what nerve!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:39pm

I just pinned this on Pinterest the other day...

"Cheating is not an accident, an accident is when you fall off your bike, not when you accidentally fall into someone's vagina."

People are always going to find a way to justify their shitty behaviour though... especially now adays.. everything is someone else's fault, nobody is to blame for their crappy actions.

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:23pm

I was on the other side of it one time... unknowingly.

About a year after my first husband passed, I met someone thru mutual acquaintances. Nice guy, called me often, we would go out to dinner once in a while but I didn't see him constantly because I had two small kids and my intention was to not allow their paths to cross his for a long time.

He kind of acted strangely one weekend when my kids were staying with grandparents and I invited him to a holiday party. Because his behavior was weirding me out a little (because prior to this he had always talked about how we needed to be able to spend more time together), I put my brain into motion and got on the internet... yes, that lovely information highway, where I found out he was married, the house he lived in was only during the week because of his job, his wife lived elsewhere in their big home.

The next time he called, I let him know what I found out. He made me become a person I despise... someone who would date a married man. The chickenshit begged and pleaded with me not to tell his wife (I spewed all the info I had on her to him). Do you know he had the nerve, about a month later, to call and see how I was doing?

Asshat.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:28pm

Good post Anon. It reminded me of when Frank Gifford cheated on Kathie Lee, she was so "shocked" and "horrified"- ok Kathie Lee, he left his 1st wife for his 2nd wife, he left his 2nd wife for you, what the puck did you expect? lol

Kendall's picture

Submitted by Kendall on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 6:08pm

I believe women like that think they are "The one," and "He won't do it to me." I have no idea where they get such a stupid notion. If it were me I would never be able to trust him. That reminds me of how Jada Pinkett Smith has been known to hang around Will's movie sets when he is with an attractive co-star. I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that they met when she auditioned for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire show while he was still with his first wife!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 5:29pm

Ok, I've ignored this thread too long! LOL

My thoughts are this:

Marriage is pretty much over when one spouse moves out and files for divorce. Does it matter to me if the ink is dry on the judgement of divorce and he/she starts dating? Not to me, no.

In our situation: DH left BM due to her cheating, failed marriage counseling for 4 yrs, her constantly lying to him and an otherwise breakdown of the relationship. He moved out and filed for divorce. Is he wrong or considered a "cheater" if he dates at this time?

I was lied to and cheated on, abused, the whole 9 yards. I filed for divorce. He left the state of CO and moved home with his mommy in NC, literally never to be heard from again. Am I wrong to date at this juncture, even though the divorce isn't "final"???

If the marriage is irretrievably broken, it's OVER. The documentation stating so is simply a technicality and I don't consider myself or my DH "cheaters" for us meeting, dating and falling in love while technically we were both still married. He had lived separately from his ex for a year before we met. My ex fled the state I was living in and I was alone, yet still married for the sake of paperwork.

I don't get the whole "wait till your divorce is final" plan since sometimes divorces can drag out for years (my first one did due to child custody issues) and the separated parties no longer love each other or have a relationship. Why pass up something that could be really great just because you're waiting for the courts to stamp a paper?

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 6:29pm

marriage should be term, every 7 years you have to re-up or walk...this would solve a multitude of issues...like insurance this way if you dont like your agent of the service your account is receiving you can choose to cancel with out paying a penalty