BM will have to explain how FauxSS9 ended up with a different father than DH when she was married to DH at the time. I bet it'll somehow not be her fault.

my oldest daughter (22) knows that i never wanted to marry her dad...i was young, stupid, and still in high school...he was a POS, even as a teen...but you know how that whole "bad boy" image is for a teen girl...lol....

I think the importance of that conversation will depend on how a child is raised. I know plenty of people in committed, long term relationships that have children .. and are not married.

The underlying moral fiber that our country has founded this "marriage first, then kids" standard is quickly slipping away. The next generation of kids will grow up in a very very different world.

I think my BS8 gets confused as to why his dad and I never married, but I am married to DH. I just explain to him that his Dad and I weren't ready for marriage but DH and I were. I had 1 kid with my Ex and realized being with him was not the life I wanted to live for myself or my son. Even though I would have liked to have more children I was not going to have kids with a man who couldnt even respect me enough to make me his wife. (Not that I wanted to)

Multiple baby daddys and mommys- You are just a whore who is too nasty to use protection.

Multiple children by 1 mom/dad but never get married- If you cant committ to marriage, why are you committing to having multiple children with this person?

JMO......

I'm not really sure how DH explained it to ss.....how do you explain to a child "your mum was a village bicycle...& daddy was too stupid to wear a crash helmet"??!

Dirty....but true;-)

Love4Lemons I agree with you to a point....however in the case of divorce at least at some point the person who was your spouse married you because they loved you for the person you were as opposed to being forcefully tethered to you because you happened to be a human incubator .....I believe irresponsible procreating is why we encourage sterilization of pets.

Apologies I didn't 't mean to offend anyone.....I guess I just find it difficult to understand why the person you were not prepared to spend the rest of your life with is the same person who you choose to have kids with & hence have to deal with one way or another for the rest of your life

i think it's going to be funny when DH has to tell Princess Boy that the only reason he married BM was because she spit him out of her swampcrotch.... }:)

and same for my exH...he just married Ho-Ho at the courthouse when she was 8 months pregnant....i just laugh....and laugh..... }:)

Although socially the whole illegitimate kid thing may have lost its sting I do still think these kids realise they different ....case in point a few years back my nephew asked SIL how come his brothers get to spend Christmas with both mummy & daddy whereas he always has to have either one or the other. It's sad really that a child feels this way.

"Swampcrotch"........BWAHAHA

I think some kids, especially those in blended families just accept the facts. X & Y's dad (or mom) is so and so. Z's dad (or mom) is so and so.

Honestly, who wants to picture their parents conceiving them? I certainly didn't when I was old enough to figure out how things worked.

Not sure. I mean how do you explain to a kid that his mom was cheating on her then partner and his dad was cheating on HIS then partner and mom wanted dad really bad so she got pregnant and told him he had to marry her and he refused because he didn't love her?

BM once said she will still tell SS he was a product of love even though she knows it isn't true. Sure. But if SS ever asks his dad, I'm pretty sure DH will tell him about his ex girlfriend and BM's exSO. And her explanation sure as heck doesn't explain me and why I'm married to him and she's not.

If it were me, I'd probably say sometimes adults do stupid things and wind up having children when they aren't ready. You don't have to love someone to have children with them, but you should--both for the child and yourself. Also, some women and men can be crazy and think having a child will make someone love them, it doesn't, use a condom.

But thankfully I don't have to be put in that position. }:)

If BD asks, and she probably will, she's getting the full story. In an age appropriate way of course.

I'm not married to my SO. Together almost 8 years and we have BD7 months plus 2 SD's. We may or may not get around to it (eventually) but it's just not a priority in my life or his. TBH we have other things to worry about!
Even as a kid I found the whole "white wedding" thing completely uninteresting. I also find it offensive if someone assumes that you're more committed because of a piece of paper - let's face it ladies a lot of us are second (at least) wives or partners so clearly being married wasn't glue enough to hold THAT couple together...