Alimony
What do you think of it and why?
I think it's ok, but should be phased out after a few years. If the person receiving it has chosen to not try to find work, it should stop.
A lot of the people who are awarded alimony haven't worked in years. They stayed home with the kids. Their work skills need refreshing. That's why I think alimony can help them for a few years, until they get on their feet.
A lot of times both mom AND dad decided mom would stay home. Heck, maybe the dad asked mom to stay home while he worked. It's often not a choice the woman made alone.
A lot of people are blindsided by their spouses actions. I was watching a crime show yesterday. A woman was completely blindsided by her husbands double life. They divorced. She got alimony. She hadn't prepared for this emergency as she thought all was well in her marriage.
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Comments
I agree with all you said
I agree with all you said here. I got alimony for 2 years and my DH's ex got it for 6.5 years. I am on my feet with a great career....his ex....not so much.
Some women would be homeless with alimony. But it needs to have a time limit.
I agree as well. I agree
I agree as well. I agree with the set number of years, but the amount of time based on each case, not a "one size fits all".
Sue....we never cared about
Sue....we never cared about how BM spent her alimony. It was suggested she go to a trade school while she is being supported...but nope...idiot just pppaaarrrtyyed.
Now no money. No job. No home. No kid in her life. Her choice, her money. Stupid cunt. Oh well.
5 years is much to long. We
5 years is much to long. We had 6.5.... Wayyyyy to long.
My son received alimony from
My son received alimony from his wife and medical coverage for several years. In their situation my son spent years working two fulltime jobs while dil went to school for her PhD. When she achieved that she was gone. Son did nothing with the opportunity to further his education. Just like many bm's , he used his child as his excuse, always planned to do it later. Granted he was depressed over the marital split, he did nothing productive until the alimony ended.
Alimony? Isn't that what
Alimony? Isn't that what unemployment is for? Or do you get alimony, unemployment, child support and food stamps? Glad I have a job to support myself - SO much easier.... People can go to school and work. I worked full time and went to school. No one made anyone have kids or stay home. Shit, my mom worked full time, took care of kids & household AND went to grad school at the same time. Yup, guess I'm a selfish, horrible bitch cause I don't have pity on all the victims of the world.
I'm with you. Not a chance I
I'm with you. Not a chance I support alimony. We've paid for 14 years and when it was up she filed to take us back for an extension. We've given her over a million $$$ the past 14 years ... she could easily have taken the money, invested it, educated herself, bought a good sugar daddy. instead she has perfect nails and hair and clothes and car etc etc. We'll never give her another penny come hell or high water. I swear.
So all you anti-alimony
So all you anti-alimony ladies are telling me that if you supported your husband while he went to school and climbed the professional ladder by you staying home and keeping him afloat emotionally and physically, that when he finally "made it big" and decided to dump you for a newer, shinier model of wife.... you don't feel you would be entitled to ANYTHING???? Despite the fact that you helped BUILD that man and his career???
Oh fuck no.
I wouldn't have done it.
I wouldn't have done it. ever. I'd build myself and my own career along with his. Make sure you get your share of the split of assets, stick him with his share of the debt, but have some dignity and don't play victim so you can continue to live off him. Build yourself a new life with a job and your own income.
No one deserves to life off another person.
Define older. A para at my
Define older.
A para at my school just retired last June at the age of 76.. If she could get up every morning and go work in a NYC inner-city, public school, then I think other able bodied older woman can work as well.
I have to disagree. If I had
I have to disagree. If I had an agreement, which is basically a contract, with my spouse that I would stay home and raise the family and keep the house and in exchange he would be the breadwinner I would ABSOLUTELY feel within my rights to be compensated should we divorce. Part of our "contract" was his support! And let's all be honest here- without a woman behind them holding everything up, most men wouldn't make it to where they end up.
I am shocked at some of the women here. They are their own worst enemy.
And who would WANT to be with a man who would throw his first wife under a bus like that? Jesus H Christ, I don't like my BM, but I don't wish unfair things upon her.
I understand why bm got
I understand why bm got alimony in our case. She stayed at home with the skids and had never had any kind of job. I think she got too much for too long, but at least there's an end and we've finally reached it! She at least attempted school, but flunked out. She has found a nice, successful man to marry her, though, so good things come to those who don't really deserve them! lol. At least the skids will have a nice home while with her too.
It is not silly to have a
It is not silly to have a parent to stay at home with their children.
How is a woman who has stayed
How is a woman who has stayed home for 12 years supposed to survive, then? Her work skills are $hit. She needs newer workforce skills. What about those who've been blindsided by their spouse somehow?
Umm, work your way up. One of
Umm, work your way up. One of my girlfriends worked her way up from a grocery store cashier to a manager in a year and a half. In two years she was making over $40,000. No college degree.
I have no issues with
I have no issues with alimony. If the receiver chooses to use it inappropriately, they will eventually have to suffer those consequences.
My mother receives permanent alimony, and she should. She stayed home with us 5 kids, then worked a bit in a dead end job at a church. Then at 54 my dad divorced her. She gets permanent alimony and should in my opinion.
Serious question, please do
Serious question, please do not take offense. What does she currently do with her time/ what has she been doing since the divorce? (don't know how long ago divorce was)
She's 71 and no longer works
She's 71 and no longer works as her health isn't the best.
I should clarify, when my father retired, the alimony was converted to a percentage of his retirement. So that is what she now receives.
So are you bragging that
So are you bragging that you're only worth $12 an hour and can keep a house running? I think I read your post wrong? Are you saying with your husband's money you are ultimately worth $3 an hour in the end? You keep yourself well and keep up on current affairs - is that full time or part time?
Alimony is old fashioned, but
Alimony is old fashioned, but then so is the idea of marrying for life. That is the main issue, people marry too fast and once things get tough they leave. Now that is not to say I believe people should stay together regardless of the situation.
And yes in the "old days" women stayed home and men supported, but we arent in the old days, yes some families choose to have one parent stay home but that comes down to the financial situation since some find its cheaper to have one stay home than to pay for child care.
Yes I agree it is a terrible situation when one supports the other for their progression and then gets dumped but I dont believe that is grounds for permanent alimony.
I agree with the idea of a timed alimony period, I can even get my head around a pyramid system, starting with higher alimony as it is always expensive when relationships break down but trailing off. But I do not believe anyone should be solely living off anyones money but their own, not their ex's, not their kids. Help by all means but people need to work.
I agree, Echo. Most of the
I agree, Echo. Most of the SAHMs I know are some of the nicest, up-to-date people I've ever met.