Grown up step daughter.. Red flag
Hi guys just to fill you in.... We usto live 5 mins away from sd and she never bothered at all and was always busy with her bf etc unless she wanted something.
She was offered when we moved to move in with us, she said no and made it quite clear that she couldn't live under anyone elses roof because she didn't wNt to abide by rules.
She currently lives with my bro in law because of how difficult she was and wouldn't listen to rules etc and has lived away from us since she was 18. She is now 23.
She dont pay no bills or rent and her bf is practically living there too, but that is down to my bro in law.
We moved in to the new house on the weekend now that all the work is done. And all of a sudden shes round here all the time and sleeping overnight.
Now rational me says its novilty at the moment, but the other part of me questions it because of the following :
She didn't want to move bk due to rules
She only bothers when she wants something.
She all of a sudden after asking to rent our other house for a year and being refused because she is literally a pig and i mean disgusting, is complaining about bro in law house where she lives Scott free.
Now people what would you make of it?
- Anniemorris's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
She's 23. She's an adult. Why
She's 23. She's an adult. Why is she spending the night? My guess is that BIL wants her out and she figures "renting" (aka living there free), or moving back in with you, is a good solution.
Similar to my thoughts. X
Similar to my thoughts. X
Well, if she's "visiting" and
Well, if she's "visiting" and not "living there", she doesn't have to follow rules or help around the house. I hope your SO will nip this in the bud.
Well if he dont then i may
Well if he dont then i may withhold my half of the house payment and say well shes living there as an adult so it should be split 3 ways now.
Excellent plan.
Excellent plan.
I call these types 'couch
I call these types 'couch hoppers' they go from other people's home one right after another because they wear out their welcome or are expected to contribute. Make it difficult. Use that spare room as a craft room or as gift central. Make it your 'home office' or any other thing that eliminates that spare bed. And if it persists say "I'm not paying half rent or groceries or utilities when there are 3 adults living here'. Make rules and follow them up and she'll ghost you asap for a less rule following couch. At that age she would have to be in school to get free room, board and food w/ her working breaks and vacations to have any $ at all. Who supports her and gives her $$ for her free lifestyle?
She is working thats the piss
She is working thats the piss take part.
Oh i have made it very clear its the guest room by putting a small double bed in, which is enough for a weekend stay you know, the room has a wardrobe in it, but then it also has a built in closet, so i have turned the built in closet into my linin cupboard, so towels bedding ironing board hover for upstairs etc.... So some one will always be back n forth for towels.
start a large jigsaw puzzle
start a large jigsaw puzzle on a big board on the bed
SD22 Feral Forger does this Couch surfing thing
But shes got no job and no license. Shes currently no contact with us and calling her Dad "sperm donor" and living with the mother, Toxic Troll. No one can live with her shes so disgusting.
BOUNDARIES, please.
OP, you need to be direct and get ahead of this BEFORE your SD moves in full time. You don't want her trashy, lazy, high conflict nonsense around you, and there's no need to beat around the bush about it . Use your words effectively, and tell your H firmly that with a new house comes new house rules, including NO OTHER ADULTS LIVING WITH YOU.
Your SD has been parented so poorly that she lacks the basic life skills to succeed in life, meaning she's a bad penny that will keep turning up for DECADES. Her toxic personality will ensure that she's never welcome anywhere for long, and she'll use your home as a flop house, causing upheaval EVERY TIME.
Passive aggression/suffering in silence will not serve you well here. You need to make your H understand that having SD in your home equals pain/discomfort/strife/drama for HIM, and that as a parent you don't want SD having influence over the other girls.
It's time you told your DH
It's time you told your DH that this is YOUR home and you are queen there. There will not be any other woman moving in there and that the sleepovers will STOP. And NO, she doesn't get to rent your other place because it's an investment for your retirement. She's a pig and a slob and you don't want her ruining the value of your investment. Not even if she pays rent.
As she's working, she is perfectly able to pay rent to a non-family landlord and if she can't, then let her team up with her bf in order to do so.