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AnnieMom925's Blog

Will this ever get any better?

AnnieMom925's picture

I dont love my SS. My husband resents me because of it. Our relationship is falling apart because I cant seem to care for his child the way he cares for mine. Im annoyed and frustrated when my SS is around. Every time I make an attempt to get closer to my SS he does or says something that pushes me away. How do I turn this off?!! I want to love him! I do! but I dont know how! I just want us to be a happy family but I dont see it ever happening. Im so lost and alone. I dont know what to do.

anxiety over SS

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Ive suffered with anxiety all my life. Im agoraphobic. Recently ive started to get extreme anxiety around my SS. So much so that I have avoided being around him for about 4 months! On the weekends that we have him I deal with it as much as I possibly can but when it gets to difficult I bolt! I try to schedule all of my errands and such on the days that he is with us. If my DH brings him home on one of our unscheduled visits I freak out! The last time I had a total meltdown and couldnt come out of my room. Its gotten so bad that I cant even hear my SS voice without panicing.

G.I JOE

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My DH called me earlier and wanted to catch a movie with me. I purchased two tickets for G.I Joe but realized we didnt have a sitter for our son. Its not our weekend to have my SS so I ussumed he wasnt at my house. Sooo, I call him and tell him i'll stay home with our son and he can take his buddy to the movie. He says ok. I get home, hand him the tickets and BAM my SS comes running out! I say "hi, arent you supposed to be with your mom?" he says "yes, but my daddy is taking me to the movies!" I go to my DH and ask whats up. He says that he'd rather take his son than a friend.

Annies Story...

AnnieMom925's picture

I dont believe ive had the chance to really tell my story. Whenever ive confided in a friend, ive held back some of what is really going on in my head because I was afraid they would think I was a bad person. Finding this website was a blessing because I have been holding everything in for sooo long that I felt like I was going to explode! So, with that being said, below is my whole story. I already feel a great sense of relief in knowing that at the end of this blog I will have let it all out! I look forward to being a active member on Steptalk!