I'm about to start playing a bigger role as a step mom.   I have known my husband since I was fourteen.  We have a complicated history that includes him marrying someone else at a very young age because he was mad at me. They were married ten years and have a son who is now eight.  My husband and I have been together four and a half years,  married two.   He was in the navy and in our state you automatically lose custody if you are deployable military.   So for our entire relationship he didn't get to see his son much.  He was forced to retire from the navy and we moved back home.   We had a daughter at that time that nearly died when she was born.   We were extremely busy all summer with traveling to the hospital and all the things that came with it.   Now she's home and things have settled, and he filed for partial custody.  When we were first together I thought I resented the boy because he represented all the lost time in my life thinking I'd never find happiness or have children.   I thought when I had my own kids that anger would subside.   At first it did.   So I started suggesting to my husband to ask to have him more often.   We have spent more time with him but I hate that it's made me angry at the idea of partial custody.  I have found I simply don't like him.   He hasn't done anything wrong and I never let it show.   I include him in plans whenever I can.   I just don't find him endearing.   He isn't a cute or interesting kid.   I actually find the things he says off putting.  What I hate is having to pretend I like him or even care about him...  because I don't.   And knowing I'll have to do it so much more infuriates me.  It's hard because I can feel it bubbling under the surface all the time and I'm afraid I'll accidentally slip.  My husband would be crushed if he knew and I'm terrible at hiding my feelings.  I don't know what to do to ease my anger at the situation so that my husband doesn't pick up on it.  If he does he'll ask questions and eventually figure out I can't stand his son. I feel like a horrible person for how I feel towards him.   I don't even want pictures of him in my house.  I gave my husband a framed photo of him and both kids for our anniversary and I want so badly to just throw it out but I knew he'd love it.   I don't know what to do or how to stop being anger and hateful ( it's never been something I've  experienced before).  He's just a kid, he doesn't deserve the way I feel towards him.