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"Dear Abby" Brings the LOLz

anapr's picture

Submitted by anapr on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 1:18pm

Today's column, for your review. So tell me, ladies and gents of ST...how would you have responded to this letter writer?

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 32-year-old single female. I have a child and am currently in a relationship with "Ty," who has two children of his own from a divorce.

This is a very difficult situation for me. I love Ty, but there's so much drama relating to his ex-wife and dealing with the post-divorce behavior problems of his kids, I sometimes don't know how much more I can handle. The ex constantly throws herself in my face, trying to be friends. And the shuffling of his kids from our house to hers creates issues.

I need advice on what to do. I'm unhappy, and it is getting worse. How can I improve the situation before I just give up? -- OVERWHELMED IN IOWA

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Before giving up, let me remind you that as a 32-year-old single mother, you will be encountering more and more men with "baggage" -- so you might as well learn to cope with it now. If you're going to have a future with Ty, it is in YOUR best interest to become a "friend" of his ex-wife. Should you marry him, a cordial and cooperative relationship will be better for everyone.

Look at it this way: Because Ty's children are acting out -- which is to be expected -- the most effective way to deal with it is to form a united front

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 1:48pm

Sounds great in theory...But that is if you are working with rational people who only want the best for their children.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 2:19pm

Makes me giggle. Dr. Abby obviously doesnt have a clue about some of the crazy people out there. I think the singlemom should stay in the background, be polite if she has no choice but to encounter the bm, and leave it at that.

reluctantgma's picture

Submitted by reluctantgma on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 5:03pm

YEAH Frieda!!!

BH's BM only ever wanted to "be my friend" when she was manipulating. I could trust that anything I said to her would be transcribed back to everyone and their sister as something it totally was not.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 10:25pm

I agree on the united front thing. Though the front is united between the woman and her BF against BM and in support of the best interests of the kids. Hers and his.

If the BM can be reasonable and actually co-parent with the dad and his GF, great. But the whole bio-coparent thing does not work well in my opinion unless the Sparents are included. The kids live in or visit the Sparent's home, the Sparent's support them, nurture them, care for them and need to be equity parents to the children on even par with the BioParents.

If not, at best it will be a bumpy ride not only with the Skids and the Xs but also between the SOs.

I also believe that the best way to deal with this manipulative blended family oppositon crap is to implement an "I will tolerate manipulative crap from my SO's X only once. After that I will own their toxic manipulative ass(es)".

THat is my right as an equity partner to my spouse and an equity parent to my Skids and only I can make the decision on how much I will tolerate.

When we chose to marry our spouses we intended on making a life with them that included their kids. That decision did not include taking crap from an X or lip from the toxic little shits.