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Can you borrow WHAT?! Please tell me she did not just ask that!

AmIReallyTheStepParentHere's picture

BM has not paid a dime in child support since the CO became official. Not a big problem, DH and I are financially secure atm to support ourselves and SD. Let the back CS amount grow for her, it would be nice to have the money each month to give SD extra things, or save for her college education, but BM can't be bothered to pay a dime towards SD.
This morning while getting breakfast on the table BM txts DH before he leaves for work. She explains that she has been taking naps later in the day and that is why she has not called in 2 months... OK, whatever. Not the worst excuse she has given. DH does not reply. BM then sends a long message explaining that she has not paid child support because she can't find work right now and her car got impounded after she got pulled over without a license. DH replies by explaining that CS is still expected and the DOJ is handling it now.

Here is the best part: BM responds by asking DH to borrow the money she needs to pay off her past due tickets (which are holding her license) and the reinstatement fee for her license :jawdrop: DH (very politely) declines her request and lets her know that he is about to start his work day so he is busy. BM not once asks how SD is doing at all. The entire conversation was about borrowing money!

What makes her think that she even has the right to ask such a question?! This is the same BM who has not called to talk to SD in 2 months, or set up a visitation (she only gets supervised) since father's day! It will be interesting for me to see if she actually calls to talk to SD tonight, my guess is she will be "to busy" to remember SD.

She can waste her time and breath to ask DH to borrow money (which she should have known was going to be a NO!) but she can't pick up the phone and call SD! Selfish!!

Comments

Kilgore SMom's picture

WTH! How can she be busy she doesn't have a job? Wonder how she pays a phone bill? I hope SD is old enough to see Bm bs. All Bm is doing is setting herself up to have her rights removed. Not paying CS, and not going to SV, is abandonment. Thats a damn shame. Our Bm is doing the same thing its been 3 months for us, no cs and no sv. Our BM said it is because "its not in SS best interest." said BM. Can you believe BM said that?

AmIReallyTheStepParentHere's picture

WOW, way to go BM. Paying CS can't in any way be in the best interest of SS. *sarcasm* She always calls on holidays and DHs birthday though.

imjustthemaid's picture

These BM's are just unbelievable. We have full custody of SD15 and BM wants nothing to do with her for the most part. Last year she got pulled over and her car was getting impounded for no registration, no insurance and no inspection sticker. She calls DH crying hysterically that he needs to bring her $300 immediately to get her car back. Why in the world would we give her a penny!! She doesn't pay child support, doesn't work, lives on welfare and food stamps because she is lazy.

He didn't give her the money, eventually a relative helped her out but the entire time she was carless she kept calling him for rides around town! He even gave her a ride home once! I was livid!! But she never calls SD and only wants to see her when she feels like treating her like a friend and they go to the mall together. Its so weird!

AmIReallyTheStepParentHere's picture

BM has a strange habit of calling to talk to SD when she has a relative over or a friend. It's like she needs to show off SD, but otherwise doesn't care.

If DH gave BM a ride I would be livid! The registration for my car only has my name on it, but his has both our names. I would have had his car towed (as owner) if I knew he was going to give her a ride. BM has poor personal hygiene and I do not want to pay the bill to get the car detailed after that!

imjustthemaid's picture

Ok I still give him shit about it!! It has been over a year!! Supposedly she was at a street corner waiting for a bus. He drove by and she flagged him down crying that she missed the bus and can he drive her home. He was so guilty that he called me right after and knew he had done wrong. He also knew that BM would be calling SD immediately to let her know so that she would slip and tell me and get him in trouble. She is a sneaky bitch. I didn't drive in his truck for almost 8 months because of this. I know immature but I was pissed!

I almost texted her but I didn't want her to know she had gotten to me. She told SD that your father was so nice, he pulled over when he saw me standing there and offered me a ride home. He is very nice and it probably did happen that way. I would have puddled her if it was me!!

Delilah's picture

My advice is if you are eventually going to take legal action against her at some point in the future to force her to pay this CS (when she gets work perhaps) then make sure you keep all these texts and as a safety net in case she decides to try and get unsupervised access/custody.

Your DH reacted calmly, think I would have blown a gasket and been tempted to tell her to go do one!

AmIReallyTheStepParentHere's picture

I think the reason DH reacted so calmly was because I was standing there telling him what I think he should respond with.

We do keep all the texts and have a log of every time she does call. It is actually labeled the "sperm seeking whale log" }:) Which I believe to be fitting. SD is her only child with DH but she has a older a younger and one on the way all from separate "sperm seeking" missions.

VioletsareBlue's picture

I REALLY REALLY do not understand how they act like this. Our BM is a total bitch loser and is a freaking lunatic one second and is asking for something and trying to be sweet as pie the next. First of all, you aren't married to him ANYMORE. What the fuck makes you think you can ask for anything??

Ugh .. sorry you are dealing with this.