Skid car insurance
Okay so I’m back to the possibility of SD17 finally getting her license.
BM has told her probably 5 times in the last year that she was buying her a car....a couple times they even had the car picked out and ready for pick up but then it just goes away.
BM and/or SD have asked dh a couple times to give money toward the purchase (hahahaha). I told DH absolutely not....hill to die on. Who gets divorced and then decides to make a purchase together? BM would make the rules for the car so it’s just a bad idea.
anyway...SD Birthday is this week...DMV appointment is set and BM claims again she is getting a car for her birthday.
now on to car insurance....dh pays a large sum of CS. I know BM will ask for help on car insurance. It’s a no from me....so couldn’t BM add SD to her insurance and then we add SD to ours? I would rather pay more than to ever hand over another dime to BM.
If BM wants to make sd keep her car there then that is fine also. Dh and I agreed we would buy an extra car for all of our teen drivers to share when they are here....plus we have another spare since dh drives a work car daily....so most days there would be 2 available cars.
thoughts?
Why does she need double insurance?
Why does SD need to be on BM's insurance and on your insurance?
My view is BM gets her a car, BM pays her insurance or she is on BM's insurance and SD pays for it which is the scenario I like better. Kids need to pay for their own things. She is getting a car given to her and SD should have to contribute.
As far as you and DH getting a car for all the kids to share again my view on this would also be no and why? If they have cars why can't they drive them over to your house? Why do they have to have separate cars? I don't think parents should be buying kids cars or paying their insurance. I think that is why kids do not value, the cars or the their licenses and get into trouble. Because it was all handed to them.
No one ever bought me a car. I did not buy my son a car or pay his insurance. He did. He got the discounts under my policy but he had to pay it. He saved and bought his own car, so I gave him money to register it because it took all his money to buy it. I don't see why you would think you needed to buy a car or have double insurance. Child support does not mean you have to give BM money for insurance. DH could opt out of the whole thing!!
Most of the time, it seems
Most of the time, it seems like parents buy kids cars and pay for insurance because it makes the parents' lives easier - no more schlepping the kid around everywhere, to work, sports, school, etc. But I agree that she doesn't need two cars and two insurance plans. Either have BM pay for it all, or help BM pay for it, but two people paying crazy high insurance rates for an adolescent doesn't make much sense.
That’s exactly it. Dh is
That’s exactly it. Dh is running around crazy...leaving work early to run the kids around. The car would be a huge help.
and we would rather pay more than give BM another dime.
If history says anything....
If history says anything.....SDs car will be heavily controlled by BM if dh doesn’t chip in and he is not.
I have an upcoming driver of my own and will buy her a car so we figured they could share the car while over here. I can’t speak to SD working but my DD plays sports year round.....each day after school and on weekends so to me that is her “job” and I’ll be rewarding her for working so hard.
I'm a hard NO on helping to
I'm a hard NO on helping to buy a car or pay for insurance, gas, and maintenance. I didn't have a car as a teenager and yet I still made it to work after school in a semi rural town each day. If SD wants a car she will pay for the car, insurance and expenses of owning the car. She has a bus that brings her to her school so having a car is not a necessity and I highly doubt when the time comes she will be able to hold down a job. Both DH and I have been planting that seed whenever she speaks about being able to drive in just over a year. She wants drivers ed, she needs to pay for it. These are not necessities.
I agree and that is why we
I agree and that is why we won’t be buying SD a car but buying ourselves another car that she can ask to borrow at times.
You are opening a door
Where you will be paying for the insurance, car repairs, gas. Once you open that door it's very hard to close.
Seems a bit excessive.
Seems a bit excessive.
I'm going to add the skid to
I'm going to add the skid to our policy when she gets her license as well. I already told my husband that if BM wants to charge him for her insurance to refer her to the CS already paid.
In my state and with the company I have claims caused by kids who live in the household can be denied if they aren't listed on the policy. I know this for the fact bc I'm the agent and I read through our entire policy and in the last two years I've seen the company I have deny two claims for unlisted teens.
BM's rate increase is going to be on all her autos and she is going to try to charge him for everything bc that's the kind of person she is. She told my hubby she was buying her a car then asked for half... my hubs wasn't involved in the car buying process and for a bill for $2,500.... yeah she hasn't gotten any money
I rather pay more money than give BM any extra money as well...
I think this issue has been
I think this issue has been discussed before and if you have a licensed teen driver in the home that isn't on your policy, you have to sign something saying they aren't driving the car (or something to that effect, right?)
I'm only licensed in two
I'm only licensed in two states and it varries by company and state, so take what I type with a grain of salt.
A decade ago most carriers were covering them as permissive drivers even if they weren't rated drivers on policies. The current trend i'm seeing as a insurance broker is companies are trying to find ways to mitigate their losses. Some still cover them (after first accident force you to add to policy) and some require forms like that if you don't want them rated on your policy.
The ones that require you to add teens would take a driver exclusion form or proof the kid has their own insurance in their name (not that they are a rated driver on mom/dad/grandpa) policy, utility bill showing they are out of the household (light/water/electricity/or lease).
It's crazy.... you used to be able to rate drivers only to certain cars on your policy but many have stopped bc parents said their kid was driving a old car but causing damage to newer cars.
Delete duplicate post
Deleted duplicate post
Buying a car for a kid is a
Buying a car for a kid is a case by case thing IMHO. I did not have a car until my Sr. year of HS because I didn't need one at boarding schools. As a Cadet officer at Military School my Sr. year I could have a car. My granddad loaned me one of his. He had a dealership license and just tossed me the keys to a vehicle. So, that year I drove a 69' Ford van. I had great parties in that van.
My parents gave me a car as my HS graduation present.
My brother got a car at 16. Which I took exception to until my parents asked me if I wanted to schlep he and his friends around all of the time. He was not at boarding school at that time.
Convenience for parents, and elder brothers, is a perfectly legitimate reason to get a teen a car. Similar to getting a middle schooler a cell phone. There is nothing wrong with those who can afford it to get a kid a car. Just as it is not wrong to not get a kid a car.
We bought my SS a car as a combo HS graduation, 18th birthday, Christmas and USAF enlistment gift. Since he enlisted rather than taking us up on the full meal deal mom and dad full ride to college, we felt that a new reliable debt free vehicle was one way we could set him up for launching.
We did it for him with zero discussion with or participation from the SpermClan. Unfortunately SS does not really take care of his car. He does basic stuff like having the oil changed and puts new tires on it upon occasion but it is a pit inside and I am not sure it has ever been through a car wash. He just has no interest in it if it starts when he gets in it and takes him where he wants to go. I am a car guy, my dad is a car guy, my brother is a car guy. None of the GKs (my son, niece, and two nephews) are car people. To them a car is just like a cell phone or a game system. The best thing that could happen IMHO is for their cars to blow the engine and for them to have to pay for the repairs and take the bus until the repairs are done.
This generation does not appreciate much of anything It appears.
As for the duplicate insurance, most policies cover any licensed driver in the home to drive any car including loaners, rental cars, etc..... So, if you insure the SKids there is no reason for BM to insure them which would be akin to just giving her the money for the insurance. Duplicate cars in each home does not make much sense to me either.
If BM refuses to allow the Skids to drive their own car to dads, then that is a fact that dad needs to be reviewing with the Skids regularly as an example of BM's manipulative bullshit.
IMHO of course.
Keep in mind that the
Keep in mind that the duplicate cars in my home will be shared by multiple drivers. SD17 and my DD15....then in 2 years my next DD will be driving....and the a year later the other SD.
so for us instead of then using our expensive cars they will drive a “kid car” that we have as an extra.
We're giving OSS one of our
We're giving OSS one of our vehicles (either the 10 year old one or the one with 120,000 miles on it - not a new car by any stretch) and will cover his insurance on it SO LONG AS:
1.) He maintains excellent grades (Dean's List).
2.) He gets and keeps a part-time job.
3.) He takes care of all maintenance as required.
4.) He doesn't get a ticket or accident.
5.) He NEVER lets anyone else drive it.
The car will remain in mine and DH's name and we WILL take it away if our expectations aren't met. When OSS graduates from college, we'll sign the car over to him.
We're doing this because we can and we know it will help OSS break free from BM. Plus, OSS has been a good kid who has worked hard to get where he is.
YSS, though...I am not sure that we will extend the same offering to him. He has shown time and again that he can't be responsible with his own things. He has gotten better, and if he continues to improve, then maybe.
Ultimately, though, when DH and I discussed this, we didn't include BM or how she would contribute. We were either going to do it or not. I don't want to fight with her over who owes what and when, and OSS isn't getting the car until after he graduates high school, so there won't be a lot of time for her to whine and complain before OSS is 80 miles away at college.
ETA: OP, if what you have to offer is a shared vehicle, and insurance on that vehicle, then that's what you offer. If BM wants SD to have her own car and her own insurance, then BM can provide. There doesn't need to be a discussion or exchange of funds. If SD drives the car BM buys her to your house, so be it. But you all can still take the keys and set restrictions on that car's use while at your home just like you would a cell phone. No discussion need take place with BM; that's just how it is at Dad and SM's house. SD is old enough to figure out how to navigate that without BM's interference.