My 9 year old step daughter has been problematic since I became a part of this family. She has never accepted me fully. She still has fantasies that if I moved out her dad would move back in and everything would be perfect. Her parents broke up 2 years before I even met her mom. Her memories of life with dad are distorted. The truth is he works a lot of races cars for fun. He has very little time left over for anyone else including his daughters. We got her started in therapy last fall. It does not seem to be helping. Her therapist seems to think I'm to blame. Oh, she's also a compulsive liar. She is very self centered, calls her sister names, has trouble making friends because she is extremely controlling, is argumentative, is very ungrateful, is greedy, often selfish, and demanding. She is smart but refuses to put forth effort in school or other aspects of life. She can be very lazy. She is emotionally immature. We have a firm no "hitting" policy and have discussed this with her many times. We do not spank the girls and role model being non violent. Yesterday her 6 year old sister hit her with a small, paperback book. My step daughter retaliated by biting her little sister on the shoulder. I was shocked. I find it very unpleasant to even be around her. I eagerly look forward to when she stays overnight at her grandma's, goes to school, or on the too rare occasions when she stays overnight at her biological dad's house. We have made an appointment for her to be tested for possible disorders. However, the appointment isn't until May. I try so hard to be fair and consistent. Since I have Aspergers and I'm on disability this is seriously draining me of all energy. When I try to do something special for her she asks for more or complains it isn't enough. For example, I put a special cookie in her lunch for school as a surprise. Her reaction was, "Can I have more!" Almost never a "thanks" or "please". Any advice is appreciated. I love her mom dearly. Her mom has been extremely supportive and consistent. We talk about things I just don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her how nuts her daughter drives me. I just want some peace in this house.