BM keeps changing weekends
At least once every 2 months bitch face BM changes the access weekends which is an absolute inconvenience for me because then i have to change my BS over to the same weekends because we try to have all the kids at the same time, Not only that but i make plans for my free weekends only to have DH call and say "we have the kids this weekend can you have them cos i have to work on saturday" because BM is doing god knows what either working to make her herself money or whatever.
Then i have to ring my ex and swap my son around, which understandably he is not happy with because he has plans as well but he is good enough to say ok. we have 50/50 custody
My husband needs to learn to say F*&king NO... i am so angry right now. I am so sick to death of this happening constantly and me having to look after them. But like usual i will do the right thing and stay home with them so BM can go to work or go out and do whatever and still get paid CS. You know what i want to know is where the F is my CS for looking after those kids!!!!!!
Why is it that those kids come first?? DH never gives a second thought to me or my son or our BD. For 3 years this has been happening and i have just about had enough, but if i complain to my husband it just ends up in an almighty fight.
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does your ex have a GF or
does your ex have a GF or wife? You may be doing the same thing to her as BM.
I understand that idea of having the kids on the same schedule...I would want the same.
You're right. Your H needs to say " Let me get back to you. I have to check with alwaysme"
My H says this to BM. BM says that to H--she needs to check with her H. It affects you both, he should consult you first.
Yes he does have a GF but
Yes he does have a GF but she works away a lot, my ex his GF and i are on good terms and he/she knows they can always say no and then sometimes he does and it does not bother me because i understand. We have spoken about this so it is all good in the department.
Yeah i am never consulted, just told. See now if i were to swap my BS it would not affect my DH as he doesnt have to change a schedule or cook or clean up or drive him places like i have to. If he did have to i would definately ask DH first.
I think it is always good to
I think it is always good to ask first, you never know if the other person had some plans or just felt like being without that child for the weekend.
Have you asked your DH to ask you first....just in case you have plans. You two are a parenting team, he should acknowledge that.
You DH can do what he wants
You DH can do what he wants but it doesn't mean you have to change your plans. Next time he takes the kids on a off weekend. Tell him, no, I can't watch the kids, I already have plans. He isn't going to start telling the ex no because it's easy for him to say yes. Make it more difficult for him and I am sure he will stop making changes.
We actually just dealt with
We actually just dealt with something similar this week. Yay for my DH.....he is staying strong.
UberSkank left him a VM the other day saying:
"DH - step-demon doesn't have school on Thursday or Friday. Since "the other dads" will be taking their daughters for an extended weekend, I will be dropping step-demon off on Wednesday instead of Friday. She said it was okay with her to be at your place two extra days".
Ummmmmm......could you possibly phrase that in the form of a request instead of a command you dumb whore? Oh and thanks for the day and a half notice. DH called her back and left a VM for her saying:
"Uberskank, that just won't work for me. A day and a half is not enough time for me to change schedules. I have to have 2 weeks notice so I can make arrangements for my work schedule. The school district in our city is in school those two days and step-demon won't have anyone to hang out with. Both me and shaman29 have to work, and our schedules are booked solid Thursday and Friday. It's too late for me to change my work schedule so I can spend time with step-demon. But we are looking forward to seeing step-demon instead on Friday at 7pm.".
UberSkank fired off a text to him stating that we will have to pick her up on Friday then, because she won't be available to drop her off. (Really? Why not? You don't work. All you do is collect unemployment and blackmail money from Baby Daddy #3!) DH then sends her a text asking "So are you refusing to bring step-demon to me for her "scheduled" visitation per the court order?"
Funny, right?? Nope....UberSkank fires off another text telling him he should be ASHAMED of himself for not ACCOMMODATING his own child. He's SELFISH and she can't believe his BEHAVIOR!
DH was annoyed and decided that she can lump it or hump it. So we may or may not see step-demon this weekend. I let him know I was okay driving out to pick her up (an hour to an hour and a half away which is why Uber drops step-demon off on Friday's and we take step-demon back on Sunday). He said no, because you know damn well UberSkank will not pick her up on Sunday and I'm not driving both ways. I'm tired of this crap and I'm done playing her games! (Have I mentioned I recently checked out Emotional Blackmail and DH read it? :D)
DH was acting pretty ticked off last night, so I asked him what's wrong. He said he's mad at the world right now. I asked why? His reply.....
"Why is it my sister, who everyone still says was a saint (she was an amazing person), is lying in a grave because of breast cancer BUT this horrible bitch UberSkank is walking around, using her kids as blackmail against the three biodads and warping her children's view of their own fathers and the people connected to them? Why is this selfish bitch walking around making so many people miserable and MY sister, who never hurt a fly, is dead?? How is this okay?
I honestly didn't have an answer for him.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
"...should be ASHAMED of
"...should be ASHAMED of himself for not ACCOMMODATING his own child. He's SELFISH and she can't believe his BEHAVIOR!"
Peckerhead (EH) often would say that to me... he actually believed it too. He's an overbearing, overprotective, coddling, guilty daddy that does whatever BS wants. His life revolves around this child. I mean REALLY revolves around him! I realize this is slightly different than some of these BMs whose life only revolves around the child when it suits them. In Peckerheads eyes, I'm a 'bad mom' because my life doesn't completely revolve around my child.
You can't argue rationally with this kind of person but they can sure make YOU feel guilty.
Did this 'Emotional Blackmail' book help?
Sounds like Peckerhead (love
Sounds like Peckerhead (love the nickname!) and UberSkank would be a perfect couple. The bonus is the vet finally had her fixed, so she won't get any more chances to destroy the life of another innocent child. I think ruining three kids is more than enough!
Yes the book helped. Funny thing is DH always told me UberSkank used step-demon as blackmail. She would constantly mess with the schedule, never do him any favors but demand he show up at certain times because she wasn't "available" at the regular time. If he didn't, then he didn't get to see his daughter. Isn't UberSkank just a peach??
And he always gave in. Always. Even after we got together because it was....(you guessed it) easier than saying no.
When another ST'er mentioned the book, I immediately checked it out of the library. I read it first and then gave it to DH. The change in him is a huge plus. I have a feeling seeing her behavior and his tendancy to give in to her, written in blank and white, has made a huge difference in how he's going to deal with her in the future. He's picked up some excellent suggestions on how to deflect the behavior.
When he told me about the VM from Uber, I assumed step-demon (sd14) was going to be with us from Wednesday to Sunday. I was completely surprised that he told her NO.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
Oh yeah...you nailed it on
Oh yeah...you nailed it on the head. UberSkank is a Narcissist with a capital N!
I'm thinking, either way the weekend goes, we win!
If stepdemon doesn't show up, then I have a skid free weekend and we get to document how UberSkank failed to follow the judgement and parenting plan.
If she does show up, I have a good laugh at UberSkank's expense because she finally had to capitulate and do things DH's way.
If she doesn't show up, I get to cook whatever I want all weekend for meals, and it's my favorite time of the year for cooking. I don't know how DH got such a picky eater for a child. Seriously....this man will eat anything except tapioca and rice pudding.
If she does show up I've been cooking like a crazy person this week and it will be left over city all weekend long. Bwwwwwaaaahahahahaha. Do you know how many dinners I can make out of left over pot roast, roast chicken and turkey cutlets?
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine