I've been married for 3+ years & have 5 & 6 year old stepchildren. I've been in a relationship with their father since my SD was 5 months old & before my SS was born-my husband was only 17 when he became a dad but their BM was 20 & I was merely 16 coming into all of this
Much drama went on in that first year of our relationship, BM stalked & harrassed us every day until she moved permanently to GA w/ children in 2006.
During our dating period, BM forbid my husband to have kids around me (although they spend most of their visiting time with me). They were just babies then, BM would send them for about 10 days (which I still don't understand what kind of woman sends their infant & 1 year old to another state with their teenage father) but not much trouble from her other than that.
Until we had a child of our own Oct 07 and her jealousy reared it's ugly head again. Constantly obsessing over how our child looked compared to theirs & told my husband it 'hurts her feelings' that he'd have a child with me.
Once we got married, this girl went PSYCHO. On our wedding day she told him to come get the kids. She called him all day, every day on our honeymoon & sent texts saying "I don't care if you got married, you'll ALWAYS have babies with me!" & "I need a break, you & your so called wife better come get our kids now.
Our own child & I had never lived with my husband before, I was also started a new job & before I could settle into our home or my life...my SC were here.
Only a week after our honeymoon, I BEGGED my husband to hold off on getting them but he took all the threats their BM made seriously. At only 18, I had a 7 month old son, a 22 month old stepson & a 2 year old stepdaughter to take care of plus a full time job. It was too overwhelming & truly started our marriage out on a bad note which was all their BM wanted. They stayed for 2 months & 2 months later they were back-staying from November 1st through Christmas. The second visit was hell-my little SC who were once loving towards me were violent towards us, destroying everything in our home & had developed pure hatred for our son & became so abusive to him that it terrified me.
Since then, their behavior & attitudes keep getting worse & every year their "visits" become longer & more frequent. They spend every single holiday here, even Mother's Day. Their last visit lasted for an ENTIRE YEAR. They spent the summer, went back home for the school year (or so we thought) but their mom sent them back to us 3 weeks after enrolling them in school & we had them Oct 10 until end of May 11. I don't know how much more I can take of this. I didn't anticipate this being my life, I feel I'm too young to have all this on my shoulders. I love my family so much & I'd love to include my SC but I DO NOT want to raise them! I'm 21 with 2 of my own children & I refuse to take care of a 26 year old woman's two kids while she relaxes child free in another state just because she has a chip on her shoulder about being a single parent. I need help, advice, tips, ANYTHING.