If you want to maximise your relationship with your kids, at the times when you see them, then only do the activities that they want to do. You have the rest of the week to do other things, so don’t drag them off to take part in your hobbies, or doing the weekly shopping. If you ask them what they would like to do, you can then spend all your available time focused on them.

Oh and this: •Do... put the needs of the kids first, second and third

There's been some issues with SS10 recently - he ran off one day, has had a couple of episodes where he's completely lost it and raged around the house, hitting out & OH had to go over to help calm him down (trying to get some counsellor support in there).

Anyway, last night he finally opened up to his parents & told them that a, he was being bullied at school, and b, he wants them to get back together.

I can't blame him for feeling that way - I know it's normal & perfectly natural, but it still hurts - what do I do?

Something struck me yesterday about BM (she had phoned OH about 10 times in an hour, and was sending messages via SS10 saying he HAD to text her when we were setting off to bring SS10 home).

Their 'marriage' was solely about SS10, he was the reason behind them deciding to get married, and the reason they stayed together for so long. Therefore, when the marriage ended in actual fact their relationship didn't really change that much - they were still just communicating as parents of a child, and for a while as kind of housemates.

I went to pick SS10 up from school yesterday because I'd just picked up my new car & he's a bit of a petrol-head. As we were walking from the school gates to where I'd parked he was calling out goodbye's to his friends and says "I'm going in my stepmum's new car"

This is the first time I've heard him refer to me as his SM, and OH was all stoked and "you're his stepmum!" I don't know why, but it gave me a really fuzzy feeling that even though he calls me by my name to other's I'm stepmum rather than "dad's girlfriend"