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SD writing off DH?

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DH and I went to our therapy session yesterday morning. As expected, SD21 didn't show up.

We spent our hour discussing the situation. The therapy sessions (4 total) were helpful in allowing us to talk about our frustrations, but not very helpful int he way of feedback from the therapist, so we've decided that yesterday was going to be our last day.

Therapy???

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DH rearranged his work schedule for our therapy session tomorrow morning. He has a performance review, but changed the time to the afternoon so that we (DH, SD and myself) could all attend our session tomorrow. It was difficult to schedule this due to everyone's differing schedules, but we managed it.

Weekend with SD21

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DH came home from work Friday and after some arguing back and forth, he insisted on taking our 2yo to an out of state graduation party for his niece. I joined with our 3 mo. old.

We drove all night and arrived at 4 a.m. We were exhausted.

The next morning, DH got a call from SD saying that she needed somewhere to go until the party began (party started at 4 p.m.). None of DH's relatives were home, so she came to DH's parents' house, where we were staying.

Boundaries/Rules for adult skids

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I made an appt with our counselor for DH, myself and SD21. I was shocked to learn that she was willing to join us for a session.

The main purpose of this session is to set up boundaries with SD because since I've been with DH, she has tried her best to split us apart and be rude. So I've started my list. Does anyone else have any suggestions for adult skid boundaries that I can add? I don't want to omit anything and then regret it later. This is what I have so far (along with some notes for myself to explain the decisions):

What does your avatar mean to you??

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I chose lips as my avatar.

These are crusty lips because to me, it seems that some people like to talk a lot of shit. When it comes back to them and hits them in the face, it infects the way they see everything. These crusty lips are a reminder that when you talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk, otherwise THIS can happen. Hypocrites talk with crusty lips.

What does your avatar signify to you?

My FINAL reply to SD

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This is the last of the drama, because I'm finished with this. I can't stand her tone, her continued misplaced resentment, her having her mother and family involved in this. I'M PISSED! She wants to talk down to me like I'm some kid, then she's getting the same tone from me. I've sent her this response and I'm washing my hands of this and her. I've deleted my e-mail account because I want no more of this crap. I know I'll get a LOT of replies about how wrong this is, how horrible I sound, how I shouldn't have done this. And that could be true, but this woman is on my last nerve!

SD's response

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For those of you who are following my 'drama', SD has replied. While DH and I were reading her letter, DH stated that a lot of it sounded like BM. I agree with him. Much of what was written is more of a concern to BM, not SD. After reading further, we noticed that the letter is typed in 2 different fonts. So yes, it looks as if BM typed the first half and SD typed the 2nd. Unfortunately, it doesn't show on here after copying and pasting. Let me apologize in advance on their behalf for the glaring usage, typo, and punctuation errors. (I knew she should have stayed in school).

My response

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Whew, I've been busy reading, writing, deleting and re-writing. This is what I've come up with.

Advice please...

I found the attached letter that you wrote to your father. I have to say that I've known how you felt about me since the moment we met. Your feelings about me came through in your actions and attitude toward me very clearly. However, seeing it on paper was the reality check.

To tell or not to tell?

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We will be attending a graduation party for my DH's niece next weekend. All of DH's family will be in attendance. DH's ex-W has been invited by SIL (an obvious set-up). DH has told SD21 that he doesn't understand why BM was invited and that BM should not be attending his family's events. We're still unsure as to whether or not she'll be there.

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