Will try to make this short.  I am out of town. DH got an invite to go to SD's house for a birthday dinner for one of the grandkids.  Invited we're DH, his toxic ex, her DH and her entire family.  DH decided not to go.  He has many valid reasons but mostly he just didn't want to be around the ex and her family.  He decided that we would instead take the birthday child out for a fun day when I return.  

I had major surgery.  Steps were well aware.  They made no contact during this time.  Less than one week after my surgery my parent passed away.  Again, nothing from the steps, not even a text message.  I am so sad, all I do is cry over my loss.  In addition to my steps not reaching out, only one sister in law on my husband's side did.  This hurts so bad.  I am always there for everyone else.  What bothers me about my in laws is that they seem to remain loyal to my husbands ex.  We have no children together.  Would that have made a difference?  What do I do moving forward?

The texting always initiated by BM has been going on for months.  Even the therapist told DH to stop responding.  He has not.  If he doesn't respond oldest SD texts and wants to know why he hasn't responded. His phone is glued to him these days, never was before.  I can't sleep at night.  He wants to know what is wrong.  How many times can I possibly tell him to cut her out of our lives.  He responds that it will calm down after the upcoming wedding.  I notice that he is not telling me that it will stop.

Skids were invited for dinner at our house.  DH couldn't get an answer and we needed to go to the market.  While we are at the market he got a text that they weren't coming.

DH is so concerned about mending fences.  How are you supposed to do this when you graciously invite them for a meal and they can't be bothered.  
Well I guess the skids and BM came up with a plan.  They invited DH to one of their houses for dinner.  I am sure BM will be there and I am equally sure that I am not invited or welcome.