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Did I go too far? I've really had enough.

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Tue, 05/18/2021 - 9:22pm

My husband passed away and SD kept his cell phone and wallet.  I was fine with her keeping his cell phone until I remembered that he gets notifications on it from the alarm company and our financial institutions.  His email is also linked to his cell phone.

If it was really about sentimental photos as she claimed why wouldn't she just email them to herself or put them.on the already installed sd card and pull it out?

IMO she kept it for the other reasons I outlined above.

Husband passed away part 2

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Thu, 04/29/2021 - 2:23pm

So I am trying to get things taken care of before I start my cancer treatment.  Going through stuff in the house, getting rid of old papers from decades ago, saving old family photographs for SD and BIL...

My husband has valuable items at his workplace that he told us to pick up right away if he passed away before me.

My son and a friend of his were planning to go down next week.  The items are very heavy and require special handling and transport .  He has to rent a truck with a lift gate to do this.  He has to take a day off work.  

My husband passed away

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Tue, 04/13/2021 - 11:08am

My husband passed away and I am trying to work out all the final details with his daughter and brother because I am trying to do the right thing no matter how much I'm hurting.  I am also dealing with cancer now.  I was in the hospital when my husband went into the hosptal.  We agreed to have SD be his sole visitor(the hospital he was at only allowed one)and handle updates and all of it because I literally could not speak after a ten hour surgery for oral cancer.  I had a lengthy and very difficult recovery.  Oral cancer is brutal and I haven't started chemo and rads yet.

I always knew it in my heart

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Thu, 07/16/2020 - 2:43am

My daughter found evidence that BM and SD were going to trump up some bullshit so my husband could get custody of our daughter.  This is from about twenty years ago during one of our frequent hiatuses due to his enmeshment with XW and miniwife SD.

Some of the old timers will remember me.  They used to ask me why I didn't just leave him.  That right there is exactly why.  She would have been thrown right in with all those treacherous people.  They would have pushed me out and ruined her.  She would have turned out as awful as them.  All of them.  My own husband too.

Disengaged folks: Do you still have bitterness or anger? Does it ever go away?

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Sat, 12/08/2018 - 7:14pm

I have been disengaged for about five years.  I am no longer screaming when I drive around(when nobody is looking).  I am no longer smoking or drinking or daydreaming about turning over all the furniture in the house or crying.  I can't remember the last time I cried.

I don't blame SD like I did so many years ago.  I don't blame BM so much.  I have laid most of it at the feet of my DH who never set boundaries with ex or SD.  I no longer am eaten up with guilt and self doubt about never wanting to be around SD or BM or even my own husband.

Is he making things up about SD?

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Mon, 04/02/2018 - 4:05am

I haven't posted in ages.  I learned to cope by disengaging from just about everyone.

DH is semi estranged from his daughter also, but he does try and reach out on holidays.

He calls to wish her a Happy Easter.  It's painful to hear because he seems to be trying so hard and she doesn't seem to have time for him. I don't believe the phone call lasted more than a minute or two.

I don't mention the phone call because disengagement, yanno?

He comes in and tells me one thing after another about what is going on in her life that they had no time to discuss.

My daughter dropped a bombshell the other day

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Wed, 03/02/2016 - 11:27am

Just when I thought things were settling down.

I haven't posted much lately.

DH and SD are still estranged so life has become somewhat peaceful. He no longer rages at me. My daughter and I went to therapy for a while. I am disengaged to the max from all toxic family members including DH.

During The Great Wedding Wars of 2013 my husband became even more insane when I refused to attend.

There was one really nasty incident that went on for hours. It happened after SD lied about me to incite a riot over here between me and my husband.

My daughter dropped a bombshell the other day

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Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Wed, 03/02/2016 - 11:27am

Just when I thought things were settling down.

I haven't posted much lately.

DH and SD are still estranged so life has become somewhat peaceful. He no longer rages at me. My daughter and I went to therapy for a while. I am disengaged to the max from all toxic family members including DH.

During The Great Wedding Wars of 2013 my husband became even more insane when I refused to attend.

There was one really nasty incident that went on for hours. It happened after SD lied about me to incite a riot over here between me and my husband.

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