DH's older brother (BIL) was brought up in conversation today. He died when he was 12 in a car accident involving Aunt2, her son, and BIL. BMIL had visitation with DH and his brother the first weekend every month at that point in time. Aunt2 had taken BIL with her to pick up a tent from a friend's. On her way back, she noticed her blood sugar was very low, so she stopped at a gas station, but it was closed. She was driving to the next gas station when she went into diabetic shock. BIL unbuckled his seatbelt in an attempt to get to the wheel, but they went through a stop sign and were t-boned by another vehicle. BIL was thrown and killed instantly.

Aunt had BMIL's phone number written down in on her ICE list in her purse. BMIL arrived at the hospital before FIL, who had full legal custody of the boys. She said she didn't want to have any charges pressed. The cops never asked FIL. I found this all out when I found the police report.

It worries me that BMIL had seen her children 1 weekend a month (if that) for 8 or 9 years at that point, but she was asked if she wanted charges pressed in the death of her son... It just seems like something that should have been asked of their primary parent. Thoughts?