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TRYING HARD

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 10:27am

I am really trying hard to keep my anxiety at bay. My DH notified me that SS13 will be with us all of Christmas + the 26th. I understand he wants to spend time with SS13 for the holidays and if he is not with us, his BM will just pass him on to my MIL. But why the 26th. He will already be here starting the 21st. I wish that he dropped him off the 25th in the evening (we celebrate the 24th in our house because of our culture we do nothing on the 25th but open gifts in the AM).

YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 10:44am

I am disengaged, I would say by choice, acceptance of the role I was given, or because my DH has never made an effort to get me involved. My DH has gone to my SS13 graduation (from elementary) without me, to some of his concerts, his teacher/parent meetings all without me. To me he is telling me that he doesn’t want me to be part of SS13 life. He has conversations with his BM, texts, which I am not allowed to hear or read, how do I know this because these conversations take place when I am not around and text messages get deleted so that I won’t see them.

WHAT DO BM GET OUT BASHING SO???!!!

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 10:53am

I don’t understand so many of these BMs thought process. I see from so many of your blogs that your SO have kids who hate them, feel neglected by biodad, etc because BM has put into their mind that their own fathers are bad. But honestly what do you get from that? Do they honestly think it’s healthy for these kids to feel like that about their biodads? To me you are a decent bio dad if you:

DH NOT SUPPORTIVE OF RULES

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:47am

So two weekends ago I went out to get away from SS12. I have a strict rule that no one eat on the couch, especially since I am the only one who cleans it. When our BS05 eats he likes to eat on the steps of the living room with a table (which I allow since wood floors are easy to clean). DH complains all the time that he should be eating on the table (I agree but I just find it easier to pick and choose my battles)every now and then I give in to him.

BIO DAD GUILT IS SO ANNOYING

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 10:44am

SS12 was with us again this weekend (thank god we go back to normal arrangment next weekend). I am starting to realize more then hating my SS12 antics I hate the way DH acts. Always makes excuses and thinks that rules are different for him. One weekend I noticed my BS14 left tv on all night (big no, no), so I told him that he needs to make sure that when he is tired go to sleep or put on timer. He said that it wasn't him that it was SS12. He said he told him to put timer on or to make sure to turn off because he was going to sleep and I did not like TV running all night.

NOT A BAD WEEKEND WITH SS11

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Mon, 02/27/2012 - 12:12pm

This weekend my BS14 and BS05 went to my mom's house for the weekend. So it just left me, DH, and SS11. Everytime SS11 comes over he never says hi or address me, DH has to tell him too, and when he does say hi I swear DH coached him in the car. Either way I really don't care, it doesn't bother me, I just think he wasn't taught better not his fault and I don't take it personally, DH does care.

MY BIOLOGICAL SON'S FATHER

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 10:39am

So last weekend was the day of the quincenera. My son's aunt (who happens to be my bf)daughter big day came. I also was chosen to be a godmother. When me and my ex last saw each other which must have been years I didn't remember having any issues. I stay away from his personal life, never ask for money, never harrass him to see my kid. In my mind he can have whatever relationship with my kid without me interferring. Anyway on Friday I had to go to the rehearsal dinner which he was at too, seeing that it was his niece. The dinner all I can say was BRUTAL!

IS THIS WEIRD FOR DH

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 2:16pm

My BS14 (son with my ex) cousin is turning 15 this weekend. They are having the big quinenera for her to which I was invited because me and BS14 aunt are best friends. Not only am I invited but I am a godparent (so I will get to present something to the birthday girl and will also say a speech). A quincenera is like a sweet sixteen. Today is rehearsal dinner, tomorrow big party, and the day after there is a brunch. I am even picking up one of my BS14 aunt from airport and she will be getting dressed for party at my house.

THIS SITE HAS BEEN AN EYE OPENER

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:30pm

I have been on here for almost a week, and I can't believe all these stories I read. I give some of you alot of credit for everything you do for your step kids, some of you show them love and basically act like a real mom towards them. But I also see that the more effort some of you put in the worst the Step Kids are towards you. Here I am complaining about my SS11 who gets on my nerve over minor things, but some of you have it so much worse. I don't deal with some of those problems you deal with since I am so Disengaged.

JOYS OF BEING DISENGAGED

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Submitted by gijimenez5 on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 10:25am

I am a disengaged stepmother. What does that mean? I do not deal with anything having to do with my SS11. I do not issue him chores, I do not help out with his HW, nor do I make sure he does his HW in fact I couldn’t tell you if he is a good or bad student, I do not buy him clothes, I have 0 contact with his mother and basically stay or of anything that has to do with him. I have seen this kid throw a tantrum in public (mall) and I have walked away without even flinching. AND I LOVE IT!!!! When I first started dating my DH I thought that I would be involved and what did I get?

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