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MY DAILY EVOLUTION

2 tired's picture

Submitted by 2 tired on Thu, 12/10/2009 - 2:59pm

since joining this group i have learned so much about myself and other individuals that are in similar situations that i have found myself in..... I have discovered however a lot more about my relationship becuz of ST.... i find myself more calm and not being sucked into conflicts with the FDH or the FST... I have come to realize that while she may be manipulative, sneaky and a story-teller, this isnt all of her fault... I NOW CAN SEE THE LIGHT, and the LIGHT SHINES ON HER FATHER.... HE HAS ALLOWED this behavior to occur. SHE IS A TEN year old, while he is an adult that has allowed this behavior to continue... My feelings of anger and sadness seem to be resolving becuz HE IS JUST WHO HE IS.... I am discovering that this isnt my fault and that no matter how hard i try, this is HIS FAULT... and in the end HE WILL be accountable... NOT ME!!!

I am EVOLVING daily. THANK YOU everyone on ST

Comments

Sara_Smile22's picture

Submitted by Sara_Smile22 on Thu, 12/10/2009 - 4:37pm

Yeah, it's a tough pill to swallow when you realize the problem is the parent won't step up and parent. We can scapegoat the annoying evidence (SK behavior issues) and we can carry the burden of their projections and the responsibility that isn't ours to begin with, but the longer we carry it, the more they think we own it and the easier it gets for them to deny their part in the whole mess. It really does not pay anyone...no favors to anybody, to continue to suffer just to avoid the confrontation, communications, and boundary negotiations...I still do it to this day...but I know it's only avoidance behavior. I left my last stepfamily because my DH wouldn't step up and parent his son (among other things), and now I'm fighting with my new DH about his daughter for the same reasons...only a heck of a lot sooner.

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 12/10/2009 - 4:57pm

I see we have Darwin's Theory of the Blended family in common.

Welcome!

I am becoming highly involved in the art of engagement balanced with detachment of outcome.

It's a beautiful day today and boy has it been a LONG time coming!

"Parental love is unconditional, relationships are reciprocal." ~Zen