You are here

joanie's Blog

thinking, thoughts, and a small rant

joanie's picture

I've said this before, this is the first time I've ever even dated anyone with kids/a kid. There's damn good reason for that-and for me not wanting children, ever. I work hard, have an amazing career that I love. I have many friends, an extended family which already includes children TO WHOM I AM RELATED, and really enjoy doing whatever the hell I feel like doing.

I'm not irresponsible or selfish enough to need a copy of myself in the world...or to live off of a man or the state.

the Mister: "this Kid is exhausting."

joanie's picture

the mister is up at his house on his own, has the Kid for this week (til Monday)

yesterday he texts me "this kid is exhausting, between cooking and dishes and laundry and keeping him entertained im worn out"

I just wrote back 'i didn't realize 9 year olds needed constant entertainment, at that age I spent a lot of time alone amusing myself"

the mister replied 'i am aiming to get him more independent, he knows how to do dishes now, after today"

omg thats why!

joanie's picture

bds feel guilty because they didn't and don't want the kids; because they deep down wish the bm and sks would disappear.

so they overcompensate.

it took me this long to realize that.
:jawdrop:

but of course it's oh so wrong to NOT want a kid, even one that you are forced into or tricked into creating...man yeah...must suck to b in that position.

absent kiddo

joanie's picture

Just updating briefly: the Kid is back at bm's, and I won't likely see him for another month or two. The Mister and I spoke a little this morning after I finished talking to my aunt, who is in a horrific step-situation, and I told him that just hearing about that frightened me for any future with him-

Mister: "Well, before we move in together we will go make our wills, and get all the paperwork sorted out so that you'll feel secure in OUR house, I wouldn't want dumptruck or Kid to have any right to bother you if anything happened to me."

Good Mister.

"my mom is worse"

joanie's picture

}:)

the mister constantly tells the kid to chew with his mouth closed. he's a disgusting little monster.

I say "you need to chew with your mouth closed, how does your mother handle it when you forget?"

ye kid replies "she chews with her mouth open all the time. my mom is way worse than me at eating. it is kind of yucky I think. mate I should tell her to stop"

I started laughing, the mister said "well, don't tell her we said so!"

kid leaves tomorrow morning early. I did ok, I think.

oh, and his bedtime is right around ten right now. lol

grateful for stalk

joanie's picture

this place is the best. and everyone here is super helpful. I am so glad I found it.

I picked up "stepmonster". gonna read it tonight.

I want to say too I know my sense of humor is weird and I can e really blunt sometimes, and I really appreciate y'all dealing with it.

off to meet a friend for some thrift store action today!

when you breed...

joanie's picture

you knew what you were getting into.

having to always make proper arrangements for supervision, discipline, and financial support. having to take into consideration the feelings of anyone your kid encounters, in public or private. making sure you don't mess th kid up by raising them wrong.

you bred em so...you signed up for it.

if you're a parent who wants to date keep this in mind. YOU made a kid. YOU signed up for that.

nobody else. not even your future partner. only you.

bit of a rant and ramble

joanie's picture

so I am glad to be going out tomorrow. even a few hours around kids ia too much for me.

side note: the Kid looks just like bm. ew. so gross.

she called to talk to him tonight and he mentioned how he and his dad cleaned up his room. something I helped with...c'est so bon, c'est la vie. I don't mind that.

the Mister does not speak with her at all. nice, that

but being around a kid ia already taking its toll. I don't think I will be around for any extended Kid visit after this, but will absent myself to the studio or on a small road trip each time.

house stuff

joanie's picture

so I met the bm briefly. she is dumpy and dopey but nice enough. I think it helps that they'd both been in other serous relationships in the meantime since their divorce, as everything is pleasantly neutral.

Pages